Disclosure I call her mom quite often because that's what she's always been to me. A really warm loving mom, who guides me.

Yesterday I had a really rough moment, I had been doing a lot of self reflection and processing a lot of trauma. I also work with Hades so that will tie in later ! I came to the realization that someone who's been very important for almost 10 years is not the same person so to speak. We've just gradually have been growing in opposite direction and out availability for each other has just drop dramatically. No I'll feelings, just people growing two different ways. However that was the straw that broke the camel's back. The entire week has been full of triggers and rough moments.

I went outside and feel to my knees and bounded in the ground, I called to them (more so Lady Persephone but also Lord Hades) I asked why ? Why would they take someone so important to me ? Why lead me this way? Why do I feel so betrayed and abandon right now ? Why do they keep shoving it in my face that people leave?

I went to bed exhausted and feel bitter, I felt Mom wanted to talk to me but I did my best to block her away. I didn't wanna hear it or feel it. When I got up this morning I saw her alter and I went and sat, just pouting, refusing to communicate. Finally I lokked up and grab my tarot deck from its place in her alter and I asked "Why?" nothing more.

She gave me my answer. It made sense and I let her back in. She gave me comfort and love, she's not trying to hurt me. She doesn't want to see me hurt, life hurts sometimes though. Growth is uncomfortable, Im not alone and I'm not abandon. She won't always give me the answer but she won't let me either alone. She still love me and when I'm ready to get back up she be there.

It was just a really nice reminder that the Gods do care, and that Mom and Dad are still there (Lord Hades and Lady Persephone).