Hey Dad. I’m sure you already know, but Mom is declining quickly. I don’t think it will be long until you guys are reunited. I hate seeing her in pain and for it to be the same thing that took you….it’s too much.

R and I are taking on a lot of responsibilities in taking care of the animals while Mom is in the hospital. L is helping by cleaning and S….well, you know she’s sensitive (at least that is what Mom says), so she helps occasionally.

Mom told R that she doesn’t think she’s ever coming home. That broke my fucking heart, Dad. I know it’s bad. I know she’s dying. But i don’t know if I could stand to be in the same room you died in and watch her die, too. But I will. Because I’m the oldest. It’s my responsibility.

I’m trying to just do what I need to do and not think too much. We both know I’m not good at that. J is trying to help me - you’d be proud of how he’s stepped up to help us this past year.

I wish you were here. I miss you. I need my Dad right now. I know I’m in my 40s now, but I’m not ready to be parentless.