This is my first time here, but it's almost Christmas and i want to know if I'm doing something right.

I have undiagnosed autism. My family would have known that if they cared enough, but mom stopped bringing me to therapists and psychiatrists and psychologists because I would push back from my ODD.

After the siblings went off to college in Utah, dad moved to be with them, but now they're back, and dad is now checking out of his second family. I tried so hard to still love him, but that and what's next makes it so hard.....

I came out as transgender in 2016. I am now almost a year and 2 months on hormones. Things I didn't deal with in the past came up to the surface, so I'm taking meds and therapy today, but it's only so good considering it's once a month for each. how I got there is I tried to hurt myself. Mom doesn't really care so much about me but cared enough to get me help. Today, dad, still sees me as my dead gender and the rest of the family hasn't forgiven or forgotten the bullshit of the past. My new partner thinks i should give them an ultimatum, either accept who I am or forever live in the past, not be invited to the future wedding, and never know where we'll live when we move, but that would be the last of my family.... I mean I've already considered cutting them off, such as switching car insurance, getting a new phone plan and number and such

Besides that, I got myself snap and even applied for disability. I'm trying to help myself and my partner is so proud, but no one else thinks so. What should I do, Pops?