I am just going to lay it all out there. I'm a single Dad with 50/50 custody of my kids. I've only been in committed relationships (2 people in 12 years) and I am waking up in my 30s scared that I missed so much. Having a narcissist partner really puts your self esteem in a blender.

The good news is that I'm on a great track. I have my own car, place, job. I have friends and hobbies and time to spend. I just want a person to share that with.

Right so about me:

-5'10", bearded, dork glasses. Dark hair, blue eyes, athletic-ish build (no 6 pack yet, but I'm almost there). I lost 70lbs, so I'm down to 230lbs. I'm losing each week with a goal of 185lbs by summer. When I hit that goal, I'm getting a tattoo sleeve, so something to keep in mind (already have my artist and art picked out.)

-I spend my time at home and the gym when I'm not working. I want to get out more, but I haven't dated in so long that I feel out of place. Looking for someone to take my hand for the first few steps of getting out in the dating world, but I will hold my own after that.

-I'm the sweetest, most caring, and respectful guy I know personally. I am not soft spoken, but I only speak soft words. I am loud though (only when I'm passionate or laughing. I can take the hint to lower the volume though.) I would rather sit with your head in my lap while I play with your hair then sext for a month and have a phone number that asks me if I want to follow up on the ghosted conversation.

-I'm demi. I find people attractive, but I become very loyal and attached with an emotional connection. I've never cheated or even find other women appealing when I'm in a relationship. Unfaithfulness makes me nauseous for some reason. I can't do ENM or Poly.

Annnd You:

-Looking for someone who wants to get into a routine of companionship. Not immediately of course, but something I'm working towards. First thing I see after work is you smiling. Run up and smooch and then we talk and unpack the day.

-I am looking for a badass. Not in attitude, but in conviction. Says the truth when it occurs to her, has the patience to hear me out, sympathy when needed, and tough love if it's appropriate. Says what she means and has the integrity to get to the outcome they visualize. Honesty is clearly required, but how do you even vet honesty when the easiest way around it is dishonesty? I suppose it just goes without saying. Even though I said it.

-You need to be comfortable with the fact that I have children. It's not easy, and it takes time, but if you know that it's a deal breaker, then that's totally cool and someone out there has got you. I love them so much, they are super smart and successful in school, and I want to make sure they get a better start than I had. I love when women have kids they are involved with. I'm great with kids and I've dated single parents before. Totally cool by me.

-Laugh your ass off. Seriously I want you honkin', snorting, wheezing, and bent in half when you laugh. We can't breathe and we're making animal noises while we watch trashy TV (Love is Blind is the most fascinating show ever), or dancing in the kitchen when I grab your waist and force you into a tango neither of us practiced for. Again, it takes time, but that's the hope.

-Physical stuff is important, but I think that should be worked out between the two partners. I don't' think it's constructive to put a bunch of guard rails on a relationship with height, weight, sex, and physical expectations, before getting a feel for the other person. I'll be respectful and I'd rather all of that be discovered on the journey.

Okay so that was a lot. I have so much to offer, and I know I have more coming on the horizon. I just need someone to cut through the digital world's crap and meet me where I'm at so I can meet you where you are. Even if you're not looking for exactly those things, I am never against just talking.

Good luck out there, everyone. Stay hydrated and eat fruit :D