TL:DR - Cuddly, childfree, how-can-I-help Dom seeks curious, childfree, enthusiastic submissive for misogyny-free 1950s dynamic.

Before I get into the meat of things, some dealbreakers:

• Smoking, either cigarettes or MJ - mostly because I hate the smell.
• The inability to hold a conversation. Getting to know someone's a two-way street, and if I find myself asking all the questions, I'll also find myself getting bored pretty quickly.
• Kids. I do not want kids in any way, shape or form.
• Too much distance: I don't drive (though I'm trying to change that) and I'd rather not force my partner to always be the one driving.
• I own firearms. They’re locked away properly, but they’re not going away,

And a little bit of what I’m looking for, in bullet-point form:

• Someone who constantly wants to improve themselves, whether that's working out, learning a new skill, or just reading a new book.
• Someone who wants to get to know me almost as much as I know myself, and doesn't mind my learning them just as well.
• Someone who wouldn't mind being the lifestyle sub to my lifestyle Dom: someone I can nurture and build up and ensure they're being the best version of themselves they can be.
• Someone who doesn't mind being cherished - pet names at a minimum, plus anything else I can do to show them that they're loved, appreciated and cared about.
• Someone I can train so that just a text message with a command from me is enough to get her whole body tingling.
• Someone who's my dirty little slut, who likes to have little reminders under her clothes that she's mine. A butt plug one day. A remote controlled vibe another. One day entirely in nipple clamps. Bruises on her inner thighs from playtime the night before. Maybe a harness she's tied into before she can go out for the day.
• Someone who can kick my ass in the street but kneels at my feet instead. Someone who could overpower me, but won't because she'd rather give up that control.
• Someone who enjoys going on long walks (seriously, since I've gotten a dog, I average 10 miles a day) and bonfires, and is okay with at least giving fencing and/or paintball a try.
• Someone who has, if not a plan, then at least a bucket list that I can help cross things off of.

Hi there!

Do you like talking about everything under the sun? Can your opinions about the world stretch to several paragraphs (or even pages)? Do you like serving up a little spunk with your submission as you settle to your knees before your Dom? If so, read on!

I'm Chris, 29, and I currently work as a software engineer and moonlight as the chief designer for a game design company - something I’m trying to turn into a full-time gig. I’m looking for a serious D/s relationship - duh, you’re probably thinking - which, to me, means a long-term, monogamous relationship where we live that DINK lifestyle with my dog Tony and whatever pets you may have or not have. If, after a few convos, it becomes apparent we’re not compatible, no harm no foul - I certainly wouldn’t say no to more kinky friends! Probably the first thing you’ll notice about me is that I love to learn things - I’ve got 111 tabs open across two web browsers of the random rabbit holes I’ve gone down, and I’m currently bouncing between everything from wargaming rulebooks to romance novels. 

I’d love to have someone to dive down these rabbit holes with. Ideally, you’re someone who loves learning and in-depth conversation, but also doesn’t mind - and maybe even enjoys - teasing out my random ADHD thought bounces. Bonus points for being a professional in a field - any field: I’m just as interested in blue collar electrical work as I am the data science involved in the public health field. Double bonus points if your job is something you can work from home: I currently WFH, and I’d love to have someone else around the house so it’s not just me and Tony.

I’m extremely passionate about both of my jobs and will probably yammer on about them as long as you show an interest. Questions are my way of showing interest, and I will probably bombard you with them if given half a chance. I’d love to see that passion reflected in my submissive, whether that’s passion about your job, a hobby, or just engaging in the world in general.

When it comes to the actual D/s dynamic I’d like us to build together, the core of it is for me to build you up to be the best version of yourself you can be. I want to be someone you can trust to take control, to redirect your passion and energy and put them to (sexier) use. Beyond that, I’ve always been drawn toward a mix of the 1950s dynamic and what I call “rational TPE”: I want someone to come home to, someone who thrives on turning my house into a home. I want to devise rules for you - things that we come up with together so that 1) they actually help you and 2) you actually follow them. Because what’s the point of coming up with rules if they don’t help you get better?

I would much appreciate it if you were a service sub and potentially a brat - I very much prefer joie de vivre to just rote "yes, Sir"/"no, Sir" submission. I want you to serve me because you want to serve me. In terms of how I see kink and relationships, my sub is my responsibility, and I make decisions for her not only so that she can focus on loving me, but also so that she can become the best version of herself. Knowing that she trusts me to do what's best for her fulfills me, and makes me want to be the best version of myself, so that she has someone to look up to.

I’d prefer to discuss our specific kinks privately, but overall I love D/s power dynamics, orgasm control, tasks and begging. I’ve done a little remote toy play in previous relationships, and I’d love it if that was eventually on the table in the relationship we build, as well.

My hard limits include scat, watersports, vomit, and age play. I'm very big on communicating, so you can be sure if something comes up that's suddenly not okay, I'd bring it up and I'd expect my partner to do the same. When it comes to scenes, I typically use the stoplight system - if you have a specific safeword you prefer, absolutely let me know!

Now that I’ve talked at length about Kinky Chris, what about non-kinky Chris?

I’m independent, own my own condo without roommates, take care of a terrier mix, contribute to a retirement fund, etc. About the only thing I don’t do is drive - I just am not comfortable behind the wheel of a car. Ideally, you’d be in a similar stage of life, sans the not-driving bit. If it gets to the point where we’re meeting up IRL, public transpo and ride-shares make it a non-issue.

In my spare time, I game a ton - PC, tabletop, you name it. I also design games, both as an intellectual exercise and because, in some cases, the game I want to play doesn't exist, so why not make it?

I'm also a huge, huge foodie - cooking is how I relieve anger and frustration, and I will happily feed you everything from cheesecake to goulash to nachos to steak. Maybe we can cook together, or, if cooking’s not your thing, perch on the counter and tell me about your day.

I like to pamper my partners by going on day-trips to places like the aquarium and the museum -- exhibits that offer interactive, adult-oriented experiences. To me, part of having a partner means having someone in my life that really enjoys learning new things with me and improving ourselves together. 

Speaking of learning new things, I'd love to teach you to paint miniatures or play Warhammer 40,000 or Dungeons and Dragons - so it would be great if you have an interest in tabletop games.

I promised myself when I sat down that I wouldn't write a novel, so I'm going to cut myself off now. Feel free to delve through my posting history, though.

If you like what you read, shoot me a message - I look forward to hearing from you!

Best, Chris