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"Don't tell Daddy" - bit of a weird one
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My 3.5yo girl is absolutely fearless and loves to run / jump / climb / launch herself head first off things, so inevitably she hurts herself fairly frequently (as in bumps and ouchies, not actual injuries). She tends to come to me (mum) for a quick cuddle, dry the eyes, and off we go again.

A couple of times recently she's bumped herself or fallen hard enough to make her cry and give her a bit of a shock. And she's been trying to tell me something while crying, and once I've got her calmed down enough to understand her, that something turns out to be, "Don't tell Daddy."

I'm not sure whether she means don't tell Daddy she was hurt, or don't tell Daddy she was upset about it.

Daddy is less risk-averse than me, so I did wonder if she might have been hurt on his watch when he let her do something ridiculous, and been told, "Don't tell Mummy." But he says definitely not, and I believe him - we have a pretty strong stance on keeping secrets from parents for safeguarding reasons.

Pandemic kid, so the only other people who have cared for her without our supervision are her preschool and my mother.

I don't think this is a case of someone saying to her "Don't tell Daddy" about something else and her parroting it - I think for some reason she feels shame (?) about her dad knowing she's hurt / upset.

Today he bonked her head on the top of the doorframe when he was horsing around with her on his shoulders. She was really upset and we were actually worried it was harder than it seemed, but when we got her calmed down enough to understand her, she was saying, "That's not why I'm crying, I'm crying because Daddy thinks I'm hurt and I'm not."

Does anyone have any ideas what might be going on here? It's recent - last couple of weeks - but has happened a few times now.

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2 years ago