Ok, little backstory. I (34F) and my son's (15M) dad (38M) had a kid when I was 19. We didn't last long relationship wise and split when he was 1. He met his current wife when our son was 3. She was great at first. She encouraged him to be involved as much as possible, wanted to sort out a custody agreement, all that.

Fast forward to when my son was 12. He started showing signs of mental health issues. I encouraged therapy. Step mom hated every therapist we saw because they would tell her she was the problem and not me. (By this time our relationship was in turmoil. She tries to be controlling)

When my son turned 13 he came out as trans. He changed his name and preferred pronouns. His mental health was clearly improving after this. You could tell he was finally comfortable in his own skin. Step mom is Catholic and refuses to call him by his preferred name or pronouns. Says it's against her religion and that when my son is in her house he is a girl.

Recently, we decided it would be best that he live with me full time. We had joint custody (week on, week off) but his mental health would spiral at his dad's. Shortly before making this arrangement, them and I went 50/50 on a band trip for our son. Total cost was $1200. Well after my son moved out, step mom decided that she no longer wanted to pay for it and tried to get her money back. School said no refunds, so my son went on the trip anyway (with my permission). Step mom is now trying to raise hell at the school and get my son's band teacher in trouble for allowing him to go on the trip even though it was my call.

I need advice. Or comfort? I just need someone to understand. I am so stressed out about her.