My 3-year-old daughter is bold, outgoing, and very sociable. She is also, in some ways, a deceptively anxious child. She's extremely attached to me (mum), and often gets upset and says she doesn't want to go to playschool because she'll miss me too much. She attends two mornings and one afternoon a week (the one afternoon session is forest school).

Well, this morning she somehow managed to slip out and make a run for it. Our house is very nearby, and she was trying to run home. Another parent saw her in the carpark near the road and grabbed her (thank god). The staff are absolutely mortified and taking it extremely seriously, so I don't need advice on that front. I am 100% certain they will have someone glued to her at all times from here on in.

My concern is the anxiety she's obviously feeling about being there in the first place. I must confess I was a bit blindsided by the separation anxiety because she's such a very confident, sociable child, and totally fearless in other contexts (e.g. fairground rides, gymnastics, climbing). In retrospect that was really stupid of me, because there are several possible contributing factors:

• She has seldom been away from me, and has spent a lot of time with only me and her dad because of the Global Ick.

• We intended to start her in playschool at 2.5, at Christmas time. Because of the aforementioned Ick, her start was delayed to Easter...and therefore coincided with the birth of her baby brother. Awful timing.

• New sibling. She's absolutely brilliant with him, but inevitably it's a big upheaval for her, and his arrival has coincided with an increase in physical clinginess (wanting to sit in my lap basically 24/7) and emotional clinginess (wanting to know where in the house I am at all times, wanting to sleep in my bed, not liking closed doors or baby gates between us).

• Lots of anxiety disorders in my family, so it wouldn't come as a shock if there was something wonky in that regard.

When we ask her why she doesn't want to go, she offers various excuses - she doesn't like getting wet (she loves getting wet), it smells funny, the shadows scare her - but most frequently she just says "because I'll miss you", and that seems to be the actual problem.

So where do I go from here? I'm in the UK, and she's supposed to be starting primary school in September, just after she turns 4. So I feel awful for her, and obviously I don't  want her to be anxious all the time, but just pulling her out for a while doesn't seem like the answer. How can I help her move past this anxiety about being away from me? I would so appreciate any advice, or even just similar experiences.