I had my daughter 5 and a half months ago. My first baby. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and we aren’t married, but his mom basically treats me like her daughter in law. I really like his mom and we’ve never had an issue, but she lives in another state far from us so we don’t see her all that often. When I had my daughter she came up for a month to help us out and I was grateful but after a long month of her staying with us (she always stays with us when she comes) I was ready for some alone time with my baby. I felt bad because when she left she was crying over leaving the baby. But she was coming back in 3 months to visit again.

Well, fast forward to now, she just left after being here for 5 weeks. To tell you I was ready for her to leave is a total understatement. I’m still at home with my daughter so I was stuck with his mom all at every day for 5 weeks. Even though she drove and had a car to get away in, she NEVER LEFT THE HOUSE. And obviously she wanted the baby all of the time so I felt like I barely interacted with my daughter during that time. If I needed a break, I had to be the one to leave and I started getting resentful because it’s my house and my baby. Plus, there were some issues with his mom not following my schedule I set out for the baby, not doing enough stuff to keep her entertained, etc. Honestly, I think I was so irritated because there was never a break. Ever.

I talked with my boyfriend and we both agreed that her coming out every 3 months for a month or over a month each time was too much. I asked for two weeks, every 3 months and my boyfriend said that wasn’t enough. I felt like that was more than fair, but he wanted 2 weeks every 2 months and said it’ll be fine now because I’m getting ready to go back to work within the next month and a half. I guess, but I still feel like that is too often. I tried to explain to him about how every time she comes into town it will disrupt the whole routine. He didn’t seem to think it would matter, but then again I do most of the child rearing so far, so I just don’t think he understands (that’ll change when I start to work too!).

Anyway, she just left this morning and she will be back in 2 months much to my dismay, and she started crying again when it was time to leave. I don’t know if I’m just overtired or what, but I honestly felt no sympathy and thought it was a little ridiculous considering she’ll be back so soon. Am I terrible person? Has anybody dealt with this and can give some advice? Any and all advice is completely appreciated.

Edit: thank you very much to everyone who commented and gave advice. I spoke with my bf earlier and I expressed my concerns again. He said he was definitely willing to talk it over and that he had been having second thoughts as well towards the end of her visit. I don’t think he is a lazy parent or a shit bf, I think this is all new for everyone and he wants his mom to get experiences too. Nothing wrong with that. We just need to be on the same page as to how we are going to manage that. We’ll get there. In the meantime, thank you so much for your support and advice. I’ve read every comment and it’s nice to know people have been there and gotten through it.