We had to move recently to an apartment where they limit pets. We had two cats and a dog. My mom in law took our 12 year old Australian Shepherd because my FIL doesn't like cats and we've had the cats for years too. Jas (the dog) has been amazingly taken care of, has a large house and yard to run in, got groomed, she is a great dog and my MIL is a loving and awesome person who threw tennis balls for her everday. My kids missed the dog but they got videos and pictures of Jas.

We found out about a week ago that Jas has cancer. It has spread to her blood so the only thing we can do is make her comfortable, try and shrink the tumor she has, and just give her a high quality of life. She has less than a year to live.

MIL is coming tomorrow with Jas from across the state because she has stopped chasing tennis balls and become lethargic. It's obvious this may be the last time we see her.

Do I explain to my 3 and 4 year old that she is sick? I am very no nonsense, down to earth about death, probably too much. When Jas dies, I'm going to tell them, no euphemisms about "going to sleep" or saying the dog "went away". My mother always lied about why a pet died and it screwed me up (she would tell me a cat ran away or went to live on a farm, so i would wait for years for the cat to come back), so when I had to handle a serious death (my dad) at a young age I was in denial for years.

My MIL is very averse to being so cut and dry, but she tends to soften things TOO much (kids stayed with her for a week and came home using baby talk for normal words, like "nakey" for naked etc) She doesn't think I should tell the kids at all.

My husband says it's the dad's job to be stoic and unemotional and "set and example" which i don't think is healthy but I don't control his actions. He has had the dog longer than we've been together so I have no say in how he grieves.

The other issue is my nephew has a genetic disorder which is life shortening. It seems like he is worsening and may die in a few years (he is 7). They are going to have to deal with this someday. I want them to know dying happens, and it's Ok to cry, sob, be angry etc.

This is going to be their first death in the family and I don't want my cut and dry nature to screw them up.

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