Looking for a bit of collective wisdom on a situation with my daughter (about to turn 6). On Thursday, her teacher let me know she had hit one child and scratched another, and offered only very insincere/sarcastic apologies.

This is extremely out of character for my daughter. I have never know her to be aggressive with another child. She doesn't even hit back if her 3yo brother hits her (which doesn't happen often and obviously we correct).

We had a Serious Talk where I reiterated that we do not tolerate hitting at all (which she knows). We talked about how the other children must feel, and I explained that if you say sorry in an insincere way, you are really saying "I don't care that I hurt you." She was very upset with herself, cried a lot, and promised it wouldn't happen again.

On Friday, she hit one of her classmates. (Note: She told me this, not the teacher - the teacher seemed primarily bothered about the insincere apologies and said the hitting, while obviously not acceptable, is age-appropriate. What she said yesterday was that my daughter had had a better day). My daughter was really upset and sobbed about breaking her promise to me. I probed to see if anything is happening at school to upset her, asked if anyone has hit her or been unkind to her - nope, apparently not. She said she was going to try really hard to be kind today.

I've just collected her from school and she told me she kicked someone! It was over something very trivial, she apologised, she and the girl haven't fallen out. But what on earth is going on? That's now three days in a row of behaviour that is really out of character and seems to have come completely out of the blue.

Any ideas?

Possibly of relevance, she's on the pathway to be assessed for ADHD, which we are very confident she has. She has the classic presentation of bouncing off the walls, impulsive, excitable, finding it very hard to stay on task. But while she does have problems with impulse control, it has never taken the form of hitting or outbursts. She has never been an angry or defiant child - in fact people always comment on what a sweet blithe spirit she is, and she's the same behind closed doors.

I don't feel that punishing her is the way to go, because she clearly already feels so wretched about it, but obviously this behaviour can't continue, so... help?