I let the intrusive thoughts win…

I thought you know what, my toddlers are upset they woke up in the middle of the night. The smaller toddler cried and woke up the older toddler, fine let them sleep in my bed tonight….then hmmm it’s 3am now would be a perfect time to watch historical animations about why the US lost the Vietnam war….midway through, my older toddler wakes up, leans over my smaller and vomits. Showers, teeth brushing, pamper changing, medicine, books, singing, snuggles, and a nightlight for an hour… smaller toddler doesn’t want mommy to leave, keeps waking up, will cry and wake up older toddler. So, here I am. 5am on Reddit, on the floor of their bedroom planning my escape it’s ok if I can sneak away soon, I can get a little rest before work in the morning …they’re both finally asleep, but omg I should kiss their foreheads, and tell them mommy loves them softly…and I woke them up SMH.