So, 2 years ago I was:

• 5 ft 9.
• 168 pounds.
• 30, but this fancy scale and a bunch of different measurements had my metabolic age at 26.
• 15 flights of stairs was no big deal.
• weights/run 5 days a week.
• Played tennis once a week or so.

Today, I am the extremely proud and doting dad of a 9 month old. But:

• 5 ft 9, but mostly hunched. (So tired all the time)
• 182 pounds
• 32, but metabolic age of 36
• 2 flights gets me out of breath.
• no exercise or tennis.

I feel like I am spiralling out.

I work from home and have to check on the kid every hour or so. Not out of need, we have a nanny, but I can't stop myself.

And I am absolutely not getting any time or energy to do hobbies or exercise. My wife never liked the more Spartan diet(low carb, no sugar, no meat) I used to follow during the week with excess allowed during the weekend. Since her pregnancy, that has gone to shit too.

Our day looks like this: 5 30 am - kid wakes up, so do we. First feed, formula bottle (which I do most days, since the last 2 weeks) Until 7 30 am - I prep the kids breakfast, my coffee,and take care of kid while wife gets ready for work. (She needs to go in everyday) Until 9 am - wife feeds the kid, gets him cleaned up, etc while I get ready for work. I wfh. 9 am to 4 30 pm - mostly work, with myself getting distracted. Nanny for the kid. 4 30 pm to 7 pm - I prep kids dinner, feed him, bath him. Somewhere in this slot my wife comes home, helps if she is free but mostly works. 7 to 7 30 - wife gives milk but we are trying to switch to formula, and then I put him to sleep.

7 30 onwards is our own time. We cook/eat and mindlessly watch something, before going to bed around 10.

I have these days pushed my bed time to 12. But productivity is pretty low. And my wife does this whole charade of let's go to bed together at 10. Frustrating, cos we don't even cuddle.

What am I doing wrong? How do I find time for myself?

The one beautiful golden lining is kid is doing very well, hits all his developmental milestones, is active, social and happy. Which is the goal. But feeling myself slip away.