TW: attempted suicide / self harm

My grandmother was a rock for me my entire life and when she passed my life spiraled out of control this story is a celebration of the great woman she was

She passed on July 4th 2002... On top of losing her a lot of bad things happened involving my family and caused me to spiral into a deep depression. I was suicidal and not in my right mind. On October 10th of 2002 I was driving along the beach in San Diego CA with my best friend in the back of my car he had just gone through a bad breakup and both of us were extremely depressed. When I looked back in my mirror I saw him attempting to cut his wrists and that triggered a complete break down in me I slammed my car into park and then all but ran from my car.

At the section of beach we were at there were cliffs I walked away from my car up to the top of the cliffs thinking if everyone I care about wants to leave me I'm just going to end it I couldn't handle the emotional pain anymore. I walked up to the cliff and stepped off just before my back foot would have left the cliff I felt a hand on my chest pushing me back and heard my grandma's voice say, "it's not your time" I spent the rest of my night collapsed on the side of that cliff bawling my eyes out... I could feel her there with me watching over me as I broke down

The very next day I met the woman who pulled me out of my dark place... We started dating a week later and 21 years later she is still with me happily married with 2 amazing children...

R.I.P. Grandma I love you and know your looking down on us I hope the life I live... That you saved... Makes you proud