So M 25, I have a dad (around 58 ) and a mom (55 ). Both never really worked anywhere because they have been doing family business ever since I came to the world.

During my college time, dad and mom has been taking loans for my education and family business back in 2019 but when the pandemic hit everything was just a whole shit show. Dad taking loans left and right. While mom had no clue about it. Dad didn't communicate well enough with this. Now fast forward to after the pandemic. The family business is now gone because we have no more money to circulate back and a lot of debt.

As a panganay and working paycheck to paycheck. I've been providing some of my income to the family essentials like food and internet. My mom gotten a job as a pharmacist in TGP and dad is just a house dad doing nothing much.

Lately, mom has been diagnosed with a cloth near her heart which makes her weak and I am scared if she's unable to work anymore. Most of her income goes to the education of my brother and sister for the most part. I provide only when needed naman but lately I've been scared of the worst case of my mom suddenly leaving us too early. I took her on my HMO and increased my plan to another tier for this 2024 just for any emergency purposes.

Small background, dad never gotten a college education and doesn't know anything (even fixing stuff in house) (which is sad). He never learned how the internet worked and when I tried helping him with that, he just took loans over the internet from old classmates of his on Facebook. Dad was never a good in making friends during the course of 20 years of a family business and he always looks soo lost when mom and dad talks about the debt still lingering. Ohh btw the family business was a Botica. My dad for the last 25 years was just selling things to people. He doesn't have any usable hobbies, than watching TV and listening to songs.

Not sure what's my AIM btw by saying all of this things but maybe it keeps my brain from spiralling out of control. I hate the feeling the inevitable situation I will be facing once shit goes down. I have on my mind to handle my sister's studies when she grows old. As for my brother he's like 2nd yr college so hopefully my parents can handle that one.

I know my feelings are valid but sometimes looking at the success of my batchmates (college and high school) has been making me feel sad in myself. I do treat myself to a good meal or buying something I've been wanting or saving up for it but maybe I feel it's not enough to make me happy.

Anyway, ayern lang. If you're also on the same situation like me. I hope you're doing well my fellow panganay.