You know how kiddish we usually were in school days, simple minds and dramatic actions. I had a crush on a girl who later became my girlfriend for around a year or so.

We had a nasty breakup because I behaved immaturely and clinged needlessly. I honestly couldn't take it. This was the time I started liking NFAK suddenly lol.

Anyhoo, the sadness gets to me and I end up buying pills, around 40 or so of them (lexotinel i think). Once mum and dad go to sleep, I pop the leaves open, one by one and consume them. At one point I felt like I would puke it all out so I started consuming them with pepsi.

I tried my best to consume all of them but I couldn't, wasted quite a few and went to sleep sincerely hoping and praying that it would be my final goodnight.

Apparently, I woke up for school on time (had to be woken up by a slap from mum), went to school (slept in the transport van as well, drooling and everything) and boy oh boy did I make a fool of myself throughout the day.

I got to hear from others that I sang in the classroom and threatened a teacher (senior one at that) and I had to be taken to the Principal's office. My dad had to be called and I confessed that I had taken sleeping pills. The girl got named as well and it was a huge, HUGE embarassment for her (have regretted my bachpana ever since).

I honestly feel this episode really gave birth to my humor-based defense mechanism. I became hugely self conscious and I had a big dent to my self esteem. I have hated myself quite a lot since then.

In the end, even attempting suicide is not worth it at any age and for any reason. Trust me, things have a way of working out. If anyone is considering anything like this, DON'T.