abcd_z's note: This post contains text from the now-defunct Charisma Arts wiki.

Using the 'I' perspective
There are Three perspectives (actually there are four, but beginners should only worry about understanding the first three).

God Perspective:

The God perspective involves you talking about facts. When you speak in the God perspective it's easy to start an argument because you are trying to define reality, which is not something we can do for anyone but ourselves.

"New York is great. It's a big city. There are a lot of taxi cabs there."

You Perspective:

People who speak in the You perspective are assuming reality for others. This is not an attractive thing to do, but many people talk this way by default.

"You know how when you're in New York it's really big. And when you have to get across the city you can take a cab because there are a lot there?"

If a person has never been to New York or any large city or ridden in a cab then they will not be able to relate to what you're talking about. Even though they will mindlessly nod along to your story they will feel no connection to it.

The I-Perspective:

We encourage you to speak in the I-perspective. Doing so makes you relatable. And it's more important to speak in a relatable way than to try and relate to everything other people say. Speaking in the I-perspective is a part of leading the interaction.

"I like New York because I think the people are friendly and I enjoy the taxi cab lifestyle."

Using the I-perspective is like constantly giving your opinion. This will be a challenge if you have been trained to do the opposite. But in the social world, the I-perspective is king.

Vacuum
The Vacuum is a fancy name for "allowing silence to happen."
Nervous people work hard to fill space in an interaction.

Their sentences string in to each other:

I walked down mainstreet and Isawadog.IthadabrowncollarandIwantedtopickitupandtakeitwithme.

The confident and sexy authority vibe disappears when you talk too much. There is a time in every interaction to shut up and enjoy the silence.

When other people become uncomfortable in the silence, you should feel right at home and cultivate it. That is also how you build tension. Tension is the signature of great ladies men.

When you should Vacuum:

After you ask a question.
What was that like? [Vacuum]
After you show interest.
I would like to see you again. [Vacuum]
Become comfortable putting silence in your interactions and watch your results skyrocket.

Asking the right questions
There are two types of questions: Open-Ended and Closed-Ended.
For the purpose of the next example let's say that your friend just went to a new restaurant and you want to learn as much about the restaurant as possible with the least effort. At the same time you want your friend to tell you the most info (put in a lot of effort).

You could ask him about the restaurant this way...

Closed-Ended Question:
"Was is good?"
Or this way...

Open-Ended Question:
"What was it like?"
With the closed-ended question he might simply answer "yeah."

With the open-ended question he is required to add more detail (and thereby expend more effort). "It was good. We sat right by the fireplace and the band serenaded us like Lady and the Tramp."

Add open-ended questions to your repertoire to get people to invest more effort communicating with you. Then reward their effort.