Lately all I can think about is breaking up. We have tried so so hard to make things work and things have definitely gotten better, but the luteal phase kills me, I just want to have fun, relax, and hang with girl but somehow there is back to back meltdowns/disagreements.

Lately its been her feeling attacked (I asked her why she chose to do something a certain way and told her that some information she had was incorrect) and then spiralgett and getting defensive and argumentative while I stay calm and/or say lets talk about this later.

Another thing is she really puts herself down and doesn't think she looks good and I get it but this feels a bit much it makes me feel some type of way I haven't been able to figure it out but like I want my partner to be confident in themselves and when they are not it just kills the vibe, like how many times can I hear "do you think I'm sexy" beforeit gets to me, yeah I know not everyone is perfect 100% of the time but its just so much for 1-2 weeks like I feel like my patience and mental health is erroding.

I feel so terrible writing this because yeah I know the pmdd sucks for her.

Honestly I knew about the ptsd and the sexual trauma before we got into a relationship and I was ok with that but the pmdd and autism I don't know if I am built for that. I feel like a caretaker and I am so exhausted, I am so exhausted of the arguing and the low self esteem and being the punching bag.

I am tired and hate the luteal phase.