Now I know avout PMDD and have changed my behaviors and mindset to adapt to a partner with PMDD, I wish I could just go back. I wish i had the ignorance to it just like my partner pretends to have, and just judge her actions at face value, then act accordingly.

If I never knew about it, I would be much more objective that none of it is "right", "common", or "good".

Granted I developed terrible coping strategies and fought against the behaviors before I learned, but I also changed those behaviors and reversed them before I was "able" to see the patterns and then learn.

It all feels like a catch 22. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Since she won't fully acknowledge and take action, I feel so lonely and helpless (without my new coping mechanisms).

This sub has been tremendous, but in the learning and knowledge and anecdotal evidence... not in a time machine. What I've learned her has saved my life (almost literally a few times).

But, I wish I could reverse time and just go back before knowing this is a tremendous endeavor and change choices with a mature mind and change the course of time.

Just a rant I guess.