I'm documenting this first month of tracking day for day, on my own because she still doesn't feel it's worth it, and she is still not taking the communication of PMDD with me seriously.

It was day 26 yesterday and I could tell when I got home from work my wife was tired, she had tried to get done as much as possible, dinner and dishes everywhere, house a mess and kids were banished outside to burn off energy... it wasn't going to be great, but maybe I could help get her to bed quickly. I asked about her mentality and how she was feeling and the response was shaky.

I was about to step in the shower when i heard a collision on the trampoline and my wife proceed to make our oldest 10 y.o. girl cry and shake because she collided with our 5 y.o. boy.

She never emotionally or verbally abused our kids. It came out of nowhere. I came running because I knew the shadow was upon us. She had our son and I let her take him inside and I rallied with our daughter and calmed her down.

Shes the sweetest kid and doesn't deserve to be made to feel worse than she makes herself feel for an accident. I soothed her, got her to her in her bed and laid her down to rest and calm down. I talked to her to let her know some of what her mom was feeling and how we need to work together as parents to make sure incidents like that dont happen again. We're not yelling parents.

Then I proceeded to do the whole bedtime routine, 3 kids to bed, clean dinner and dishes, fold laundry and straighten the house, eat a bite, take a shower, and by the time I went through my routine, my wife was asleep.

Again, this is a WIN. We avoided a fight. I connected with my kids first and i was their protector. I was cleaning and productively making improvements and lessening her house work tomorrow. I filled a big void that I used to widen with confronting her (never in luteal, never). I did it all without resentment and contempt.

All because i tracked the month and my immediate thought when it all went down - "it's day 26" ☢

We're not past anything yet, but there's hope.