Hello, everyone. I've recently have been feeling like learning about being Christian again and orthodox Christianity feels like a good move for me. I was born and raised Lutheran by two ex catholic's. The reason they left the catholic church was due too the raise and exposure in cases of child molestation mainly between priest and young boys in the early 2000's. They found out I was going to be male when my mother was carrying me, leading to them wanting to protect me. I've never understood religion, currently I'm reading a orthodox study Bible and reading through Mark. I had a scare with my psychology heal due too stress were my stress has made me have hives, muscle cramps, constant panic attacks and anxiety. I also ended up dating a pagan during this journey while also exploring thus faith. I knew it was against of rules of christ but was hoping to have her join my faith if possible. She broke up with me yesterday, proceeded to tell me she loved me still and I proceeded to tell her the truth that we both were lonely and she lasted after me and a part of me knew this. She did give me a bracelet, and some oil to heal myself but I believe I'm going to burn these things for they are not godly. Along with some posters of some adults stars I have and a shirt from another previous girlfriend. I believe negative energy and porngraphy has ruined my life and my relationship with God ever since I was a child. Thank you for reading this, I understand why I must be better. For God so I may enter his kingdom, so I may be at peace with myself and only I may do that and only God can guide me. I am sick and tired of being a coward and I'm sick and tired of having my body psychically attacked by stressed.