(If your mind immediately responded to that with "General Kenobi," congratulations, you're already flying in the right direction!)

Let me lay out the details. I'm on the lookout for a suitable companion for a treasured sub of mine, a vibrant young woman in her mid-20s. She's a successful professional, a true nerd at heart, with curves that would make the Millennium Falcon jealous, and an appreciation for all things spooky that rivals even the darkest corners of the Death Star. The key here is friendship - she's open to different galaxies (bi), but the primary quest is for camaraderie.

Ideal candidates would have an affinity for the spooky, like Halloween Horror Nights, video gaming, and the art of silliness and cuddling. Bonus points for those who are familiar with or intrigued by the kinkier side of the universe. She's quite open about her desires and sexuality among friends - and don't worry, she won't insist on wielding a 19" tentacle dildo from the outer rim or demand control.

Just to clarify, this isn't an open call for a threesome or any specific endgame. My sub is an introverted soul, swamped with responsibilities in her professional life, and I'm striving to create a special constellation for her. She's so busy fighting the Empire that she barely has time to meet new beings. So, if you're a friendly soul looking for companionship to explore galaxies, share spookiness, cuddle through lightspeed travels, and have an all-around intergalactic experience, she is absolutely the droid you are looking for.

It's not about your hologram or physical appearance - what matters is your passion. Are you a gamer? A horror enthusiast? A sci-fi aficionado? These are the details that interest me. Save your hologram and other details for her. Consider this an initial vetting process.

And no, she doesn't know about this yet - if she did, her anxiety would skyrocket faster than the Falcon in hyperdrive. I have a well-thought-out plan for when the right person comes along, and I promise I won't leave her to the Sarlacc pit. But very well may leave her in a gold metal bikini.....

May the Force be with you, and I look forward to your responses.