I was actually working on a new page for the wiki regarding sites and unicorns. So, here's rough draft 1.

Whatever is incorrect, I'll fix/update as others reply with proof.

Sites

This may be a little dated and a lot of it is from other's opinions, not mine. I also tend to believe that most couples are still relying on clubs and less-and-less are using online and apps, though, I could be totally wrong on this.

• Kasidie - Most popular. 20 to mid-40's crowd, generally more physically fit couples. Classier or "snobbier" depending on which side of the coin that you're on. Can be cliquey. Easy to hide and hide from single males.

• SwingLifeStyle (aka SLS) - Leans towards older couples 40-70), lots of newbies (could be good or bad), lots of single guys, generally more BBW. Site used to go down a lot, was dated, and had security issues. Can hide and hide from single males easily.

• LifeStyleLounge (aka LL) - older couples (50 ) - that's all I know.

• AdultFriendFinder (aka AFF) - older couples, lots of single guys, spammy as fuck, poor security. Did I mention that there are a LOT of single guys there?

• Others - VoodooLounge, SDC, Quiver. I don't know much about these but I've been told that they don't get a lot of use here.

Apps

• Tinder - bans couples. Takes one user to report you and you're gone... Try but be ready to be banned.

• Bumble/Hinge - bans couples but not as quickly.

• OkCupid - leans towards poly but has a growing lifestyle base for those who are looking for more than swinging.

• Feeld - sold as a threesome app but last time we were on there it was all couples except for a few obvious spammers and a few BBW unicorns.

• Kasual - just heard about this one. If you do it, let us know.

• Others - there is a never-ending number of apps out there but I haven't heard of them being used as much here.

Unicorns

We've been pretty fortunate here but I think it's because we aren't dripping with desperation. We have pretty high standards with HWP, personalities, and STI screening and I think that plays into our success, which seems to counter most thoughts on this.

We've found our "unicorns" (and I use that term respectfully) through:

• Friends-of-friends - Nothing is better. You'd be amazed how many woman want to be a third but are afraid to put it out there. A simple, "My wife is bi" or "We've had a threesome before" can really get the ball rolling.

• Reddit - Yes, it happens. It's always been them contacting us, so post and see what happens!

• OKCupid - Just be specific about who you are and what you are looking for. If you're not poly, be sure to state this early as there are a lot of poly people there. On that, not all of them advertise poly and it doesn't hurt to ask first. Nothing against poly but definitely something you want to discuss prior.

• FetLife - This wasn't planned and it's not a hookup app so it's extremely unlikely but... It happens. Most of the people there are extreme in their desires and there are so many single guys that it's not really worth it just to go looking for any kind of a hookup. Also, despite the plethora of single guys, the people there are.... damn, let's just be polite and say, "unique".

• Bars - we haven't had any one-nights this way because we prefer to do some screening prior but it has led to some FWBs. If we didn't have high standards, I don't think it would take more than two trips to a bar to find someone. Our friends, who admittedly don't have very high standards (ha!) average about 1-in-5 trips. It's nuts! But again, they have never described one of their partners as anything I think most would brag about. Not to judge them, just being honest here.

• Clubs - we haven't but there are a few regular unicorns there. Go enough and you'll be able to spot them and if you like them and are willing, maybe you can strike up a conversation and see where it goes.

General advice

• Standards usually dictate how successful you are on both ends of the spectrum here. If you don't have many, or even any, then it should be pretty easy for you. That said, those that we've played with have all commented on how unique we are for having the standards that we do and considering the amount of 'work' we've put into it, I tend to believe that having these standards have separated us from the herd and made it easy/easier for us. It's kind of an 'extremes work' thing; the more extreme you are and act accordingly for this, the more successful you are at finding someone.

• So if you have standards, put out as much as possible in your ad(s). Just putting up a pic of your genitals and a "We want a unicorn, hmu" isn't going to get you very far or separate you from everyone else when you are looking for someone.

• Don't get hung up on unicorn hunting. Seems to us that as soon as people stop looking and/or spending time looking, they suddenly find someone. Kind of like dating...

• Keep in mind that you are trying to entice someone to pick you from thousands of others out there. What unique thing can you offer them? Everyone promises the "best time", everyone "loves to eat pussy like it's their last meal" and does it "the best you've ever had", everyone can "give the best dick out there", and every wife says that their "husband is the best at sex" (I still chuckle when I read these), but what separates you from all of the others that are promising the best time?

  ---

Unicorn ads

A few more tips:

• keep it positive. Instead of saying that you don't like something, say what you do like. That alone seems to be one thing a lot of couples can't get. Faced with a couple that is presenting themselves as positive versus the ones that write with a lot of "don't", "no", and "can't" should be an obvious choice.

• Stay away from cliches, generalities, and superlatives - these three are overused in every ad out there. Remove those from your ad and you're already ahead of 99% of the others.

• Don't lie - They will find out and it won't be good. Doesn't matter if it's small like your weight or something serious like STI test results, they will find out and none of them will end where you want it to.