We've been swingers for a very long time and active in all sorts of lifestyle communities. We know that the LS mimics real life and you're bound to find bad faith actors here as you do in the vanilla world. ... However, there's an abnormally high amount of bad faith actors here and avoiding them is trickier then we've ever experienced it thought we would, and there's a lot!

When we moved here (not from Cali) the very first couple we met ghosted us after we told them where we live (later we ran into them and found out why). Turns out that our little town has a long history with bad swingers and they were not only the talk of the town and still are, but also their story has been popular in Reddit and they even made their way into the world news, in a way via Stan Pulliam. We learned to pre-qualify naming our town with "we just moved here and have never met anyone from this group" every time.

(Bad swingers or bad actors are rally just anything that goes against the tenents of not only being a good human, but also into that area of not being good swingers; i. e. unsafe, liars, disrespectful, etc.)

Just today there's another post from a unicorn who says that she got blindsided by this couple that she met on Reddit.

Earlier this week was a post about single guys that crossed over into couples and talked about getting duped.

We also learned this week that the Glow parties everyone raves about had some bad actors, or at least some we'd consider bad actors.

Like others, we've stopped going to Privata due lots of issues, but one being the couples there that we'd again state as bad actors.

In all of the previous cities and towns we've lived in, we've had these incredible potluck style LS friends. BBQs in the weekends, maybe some playing but never the only reason we're hanging out. It's gotten to where if a couple even presents as a 'fuck now' couple, it's a red flag, like what are they hiding? I'm out experiences, and reading the feedback here, the LS has become infected here with quick to fuck so they can hide their real selves. I didn't think everyone who swings this way is guilty, but if they do share too many traits to ignore.

We were on Kasidie and found out the hard way that verifications were just to verify that X & Y couples fucked. Which was weird. There were a few times when we knew X couple, and we'd ask Y couple something innocent about X couple (they advertised it, so we're not breaking etiquette and never about personal details or to talk about them sexually) and they'd just reply that they didn't know a whole lot about them. Verifications are supposed to let everyone know that X couple is respectable, they are who they say they are, they are safe, and maybe even that they are fun.

Is there a verification system that actually works as it's intended? Or are we stuck wasting time?