We've been swingers for over ten years and have stumbled across some men and women for MFMs and MFFs but all have been by chance. About six months ago decided to start looking for a "stunt cock" and it's been so frustrating that we're quickly approaching that point where we're just going to give up.

In trying to ask around it and research this, it looks like a lot of the advice is from single guys, which would be fine but it appears that these single guys are the kind of guys we are trying to avoid.

We know a lot of swingers will occasionally take on a manicorn (? or is it rhino?) and we're wondering what our fellow swinger couples do to find quality men when they want those MFMs?

We do have hard limits that are non-negotiable, and obviously things would be easier for us if we were to lower our standards, but that's not happening. Standards are staying where they are.

Knowing that we are NOT lowering our standards and you had the list below:

1) Where would you go to find them?

2) How do you filter through all the replies?

3) How do we stop wasting our time and their time replying to us if we all know that we're not a fit? What should we state in our ad?

Our non-negotiable list:

• Must have current STI results and be negative.

• Must be 35-55 yo.

• Must be fit. Not jacked or anything -she strongly prefers NOT jacked- but at least able to satisfy eyes and more rock climber than couch potato.

• Willing to be recorded for our personal use (not content creators and our safe-guard is that we have a lot to lose if these were leaked).

• Be able to get hard, stay hard, and last more than 10 mins.

• Be respectful - admittedly this is subjective.

• Not poly (did poly with two unicorns and two previous solo men and all four turned into awkward )

• Doesn't require dom/sub or kinks to get off.

We have a list of wishes but can't even get to them because no one can get past the non-negotiables. .

I've read that many say that we need to go to fetlife but so far it's just been disgusting and so off-putting that it's a struggle to get excited to go look there.

Feeld seems to either be swingers or poly and not much for single men.

Reddit has been best, but our last series of posts had around 100 replies and they were all just absolute garbage. Lots of "hmu" and "I gt 15 dick to plow ur pussy til u scream" (that was real) kind of replies.

Is there a quick way to tell if swinger couples play separately? We just go if they don't advertise, that means that they don't.