I'm (40's-F) new to ENM, inexperienced bisexual, and have been wondering about these clubs FOREVER but I'm super nervous. I recently asked in another group about some of these and I got bombarded with creepy DMs and a lot of begging me to meet and my cold feet got colder. I just want to go and see what it's like without meeting anyone or feeling like I have to meet anyone. I want to be a fly on the wall, at least the first few times I go.

So here goes.

• What club has the hottest couples? I'm there just to see what it's all about and let's face it, if you're there to watch, eye candy is important. Probably a little shallow sounding but I'm being honest.

• This kind of goes with the first question, but what nights are best for the most HWP couples? I read that it used to be the beach parties and little black dress nights at Privata but also heard that this isn't the case anymore??

• What's the best way to politely turn away couples? I don't want to be a bitch, but I do just want to just be a fly on the wall at least the first time I go.

• Are there age differences between the clubs?

• What time should I get to each club?

• What kind of music is played? I heard that Privata and The Velvet Rope both play country, is this just special nights or something regular? Sanctuary only plays EDM?

• What place has the most professional couples? Like suits, ties, and sequin dresses?

• Let's say you are there, with your spouse, and your boss, who is a professional woman, is there all alone, how would you like her to ignore you?

• How loud is the music played at each one? Louder the better for me but would it be weird if I were wearing ear plugs? Like the clear inconspicuous kind or would that be something no one does and just be weird?

• Say that there actually is a couple I'm interested in talking to, would it be weird for me to approach them? What if I turned them down earlier? What would I even say? Lol

Anything else you can tell me about these clubs?

TYIA!