We've been swinging for about six years now so we've had time to cultivate our likes and dislikes and we've learned to pay attention to yellow and red flags. We're late-30, early-40 couple, who are fit, professional, and focusing here on MFMF and a little into the MFF - everything is an option for MFM, lol. We aren't what you'd call dtf and prefer to get to know couples first and this weighs in on our reviews.

So with that, here's what we've learned in using all the apps and sites that are available to us in the PDX area (important because I hear that some of these are completely different outside of Portland).

Feeld

Time and time again we had people telling us to go here. What we found is that it's mostly poly and solo ENM, but there are some swingers there too. We got flaked a lot, as on our way to a date or actually sitting in the restaurant waiting and we'd get, "wife can't make it, I'll be there soon", "can't make it tonight, next month?". Some even ghosted us, which is to be expected but it had never happened before and it happened abnormally high here. We think it was because a lot of the people were looking for DTF, Poly, or were pushing the male half but who knows, they never gave us a reason. Feeld just seemed like a lot of unicorn hunters and couples who play solo that really just wanted to meet so they could push the M half on couples. If you are not DTF or poly or looking for an MFM, we found it a waste of time, mostly because we spent a lot of time going back and forth on what we were all looking for only to find out that they were DTF, poly, or were actually a solo guy. We did meet with a few couples and all were fun but they all had some unique and major flaw, such as their pictures not represent them irl, or their expectations weren't defined as they had said (had to pull our phones out and check messages at one date because the people that showed up were so wildly different than the couple we had been chatting with), or they treated it like Tinder where they swiped on everything only to read profiles later. If you go onto Feeld, ask for more pictures and put up a question that references back to your profile asap. Who is it for: DTF swingers, poly, couples pushing the male-half, and solo guys who are bit more sophisticated - if you're going for a MFM, it's a good place, we think?

Kasidie

Has the most couples and the hottest couples. Everyone seems really excited to be into what you are into only to discover later on that they really don't... Lots of "looking for friends" but reality is they are, "looking for people to fuck immediately after we meet at the hotel bar." Time and time again we'd go through the "we need to be friends first", "we don't fuck on the first date", etc, only to have them hurry through dinner/drinks and then invite us to their room/house. Some even got visible upset, which we would understand if we hadn't made it all very clear to them that it doesn't work like this for us. Definitely the hottest and most fit couples though. One big negative that we recently learned of (maybe it was here?) that if you block someone, they can see that you blocked them. We block a lot when we're not interested to keep our search and who we see in the feed as possibles. Since we've already discovered how everyone here knows everyone, we're now a little nervous about blocking a couple and having them think it was rude or something. As for the couple that sent us literal copy/pastes every three weeks after we had let them politely know that we are not a match, I hope they see that we finally blocked them. Who is it for: Hot couples, DTF swingers, and maybe, just maybe, non-DTF swingers.

Swinglifestyle or what we've heard as SLS

Not a lot of couples there for us. A mixture of older, not fit, not professionals, or looking for something other than MFMF. Also had a few catfishes there (one used pictures from 2000, not lying!!!). Who is it for: 55 , BBW, curvy, blue collar.

Adult Friend Finder or AFF and a bunch of other names that lead you back to it.

I don't know what to say other than that this was just gross. There was I think one interesting couple in a sea of a hundred tweakers, "couples", and just all sorts of dirty bedroom couples (literally saw more than a dozen stained mattresses and sheets in pictures) and single men. We got hit up by couples that were clearly not what we were looking for all the time too. Complete waste for us. Who is it for: tweakers, stained sheets in sexy pictures admirers, Drs interested in studying untreated medical conditions?? I don't know, it was just gross.

Quiver/SDC

Every couple on Kasidie seems to have a profile here and they seem like a copy/paste of their profiles there. Looks like most profiles only get checked in with once or twice a month.Who are they for: Apparently it's everyone's backup Kasidie accounts.

Tinder

Not a good place for swingers unless you are looking for a single guy or are 99% delusional about unicorns. Who is it for: MFM couples and couples who think there's a chance in hell that they can land a unicorn.

OKCupid

Poly. That's 99% of the users. You will find the rare exceptions but that's pretty much it. Who is it for: Poly

Bloom: New ENM friendly app.

They allow unpaid users to see four new people/couples a day, we went through them all in less than a month and only two were decent - this was having our area set from Battleground to Eugene. We "bloomed" with the two we thought we might like and neither replied and from their profile, they don't look active. Has a lot of potential but so far it's that extreme fringe of users going there. Who is it for: Very extreme users of the NB/GF colored hair, poly people (not that there's anything wrong with any of this, it's just who it's for here in Portland)

FetLife

So we learned rather late that this is NOT a swinger site and a lot of the users will actually get upset with you if you mention swingers and fetlife in the same sentence, not all of course but there's no shortage of "this is not a swinger site" to be found. It's a kink and bdsm site and that's the focus. For us, it's pretty shocking what is there that those goes beyond kink and bdsm and into the fringe fetish world but it's their world, not ours. However, if you are a swinger and there to find other swingers, you're going to have a hard time. There is absolutely no shortage of single guys, dick pics for profiles, and profiles that haven't been touched in 10 years or more. For the active groups, expect 1 couple for every 500 single guys. Who is it for: Kink, bdsm, fetish, MFM couples, or couples who like to show off to a bunch of deprived guys. And I should add that there seems to be a lot more spam there these days.

Facebook

OMG. People actually use this and it's about what you'd expect. We created an alt profile and set out to find as much as we could. Whelp, there are groups for everyone and they vary so wildly that it's difficult to narrow it down. For us, there were a few private ones that we found some good discussions in but they seemed to be controlled by one or two "couples" in each. We noticed time and time again where someone would make a post, and then these same couples would post right after and thereby "squashing" the other's post. Kind of ridiculous but what can you expect for Facebook? There were some positives and we'll keep our alt account but I doubt we'll ever meet anyone from there, unless we're on a cruise, maybe. Who is it for: Newbies interested in discussions, destination swingers (as in going on a vacation, especially cruise ships), and people who want to interact with their neighbor??

Snapchat, Kik, Telegram, Discord

Speaking for their private or invite only areas; they are filled with catfish, solo/single guys, and spam. Who is it for: Single guys who love spam??

Reddit.

... Who is it for: You're here, aren't you? LOL

Clubs

We've been to the main three a lot over the years and only go to Privata and Sanctuary anymore. Privata was better before covid in terms of clientele and quality of the club and it's difficult not comparing it back to how it once was. It's not bad but where it was 10/10 before covid, it's more like 7/10 now. Sanctuary is mostly a BDSM and Kink place and we go there for that. It's more of a chill place to mingle with others but not for playing, at least for us. We meet couples there but only a few did we befriend and have fun with.

Please let us know a little about yourselves and what you are looking for and how you review these.