Sorry for this wall of text, tl;dr below.

This seems like the appropriate place to put this but if not please let me know. I don't want to post this to Kasidie for obvious reasons and we don't want to name anyone.

Goes like this. Over a year ago we met a couple through Kasidie who promptly invited us into their inner circle of friends. Kind of like we were being paraded as celebrities! It's a really fun group and everyone is really close, a few of them are even childhood friends, if that gives you an idea here of how close they all are.

As we've moved closer in there are some things that we've picked up on and now we can't ignore them. It's reached the point where seeing it all around us and staying apathetic is no longer a choice. But since we are ardent supporters of "No Drama" we haven't pried further, until now. We need to find out what it behind it all so we can decide if they are worth sticking with or if we should distance ourselves.

Here are some examples that have caused some flags to be raised. There are more but these are some of the ones we're both caught up on. Obviously not their real names.

Event 1) A couple we were texting with asked, "you hang out with Jane and John Doe right?" and when we said yes, they replied with "I'm sorry, we can't be associated with that group" and they blocked and ghosted us. Maybe we're reading too much into this but the use of GROUP set some bells off. We've been ghosted a few times but usually after a reason other than the group we are associated with.

Event 2) We were at Privata and a couple approached us and said, "Hey, we've seen your profile on Kasidie and wanted to reach out!" We talked and agreed to text the next week and things were looking great for meeting them for a date. Next week we text them and they said that they "can't be in your circle of friends" and they removed their backstage passes. Abrupt and again pointed it to this group.

Event 3) We love going to Privata and Sanctuary but we've never been able to get some of these friends to go -- which is normal, we know some people just don't like the club, but they take it to the next level and if they find out some of us are going, they will go out of their way to throw a party at their home or find an event to entice others to go to instead. Juvenile but we just assumed that they really didn't want to go out of not liking the club. However what really made this strange is when one of the couples told us, "John and Jane can't go, ... I mean they won't go." And then got really quiet about it until they burst out with a long winded cover saying all sorts of things about it's "their choice" and "it's not like they literally can't" and it got awkward fast. How they said it, how they tried to correct it, and then just kept going definitely wasn't normal and we were both like, 'yeah, somethings up'.

Event 4) "John and Jane Doe" abruptly left Kasidie and their reasoning was "it was just some drama". We didn't ask further because, NO DRAMA. But why would a couple, and a couple with some sort of reputation, just leave? They could block at the least but to just leave seems really strange and smells fishy.

Kind of a event 5 but maybe not) we finally asked "John and Jane" a little about some of this and all we got was "misunderstanding" and "drama" and they piped up quickly then changed the subject. Since we didn't know at the time just how big of a puzzle this all was, we moved on.

We feel like we've successfully avoided drama the past six years but now we're in a place where it's going on all around us and we think we finally need to find out why. What causes so many people to have such strong opinions of them and this group? This is a fun group of people who are all close knit and we've gotten to know them all really well but there's definitely some skeletons in the closet and we want to know why and will those skeletons continue to cause us harm?

No matter what we hear, we will talk with them about it all again at some point. We know rumors and drama are unreliable and it's always good to get both sides of the story too.

So I guess we're asking this: How do we find out more and does anyone here know them or maybe know of them? There seems to be enough people in the lifestyle here that know them but no one wants to talk about them in person but maybe they will here?

If you know who we're talking about, please no names and messaging us is fine.

tl;dr There's a group that we've been pretty close friends with for a while now and there's at least one couple in this group with some skeletons in their closet. People are treating us differently because they know what the skeletons are and we're friends with them. We need to find out what these skeletons are to make an informed decision on whether or not our friendships with them all is worth it or not. We will take what we find and have a conversation with them.