So, I’ve been taking tramadol for fifteen years for Fibromyalgia. I moved around a fair amount during that time but never had a problem finding a doctor to prescribe it to me. I also knew a guy who would sell me morphine when I ran out of Tramadol ten days or so before my refill was due. ( As anyone with a Tramadol addition knows, you have to keep upping the dose to feel it.) And yeah—I’m definitely an addict—I probably would’ve been fine with On the prescription dose with my pain—but I was so much happier on larger amounts that I couldn’t resist.

I was actually on anti-depressants for about a year before my Tramadol addiction started. I stopped taking them when I started on Tramadol. My doctor at the time told me that the year on antidepressants had “fixed my brain chemistry” and now my serotonin levels would be fine. Haha.

They had NO idea back then that Tramadol works as an antidepressant—which is why I was ever able to stop taking them. Before the anti-depressants I was a mess. I remember sitting down one day about a month into taking them and realizing “Holy shit—this is how I was always supposed to feel. This is what NORMAL feels like. “ The Tramadol did the same thing— which is a very large part of the reason I stayed on for 15 years.

Anyway—I’m gonna cut to the chase. My doctor moved without telling me and all of a sudden NOBODY is willing to prescribe pain meds. In all honesty, I still have access to 4 pills of Tramadol a day and a few Morphine pills left. (My friends doc stopped prescribing to him as well)

So I’ve been weaning off. I desperately want to be off all this shit. I feel like soooo much of my life for the last 15 years has revolved around making sure I didn’t run out of meds. I’ve done some crazy shit to keep this addiction going but I’m done. I want to be free.

As for where I’m at—I was taking 2 morphine pills a day (One in the morning and one early evening) along with six Tramadol a day. I’m down to 3 Tramadol a day. It’s taken about 10 days to drop but it hasn’t been horrible because I’ve been supplementing with Kratom and CBD oil, plus taking Melatonin to sleep. I saw the “Addicted to Kratom” board on here and read a bunch of posts and now I’m scared shitless about getting addicted to that. Last thing I want to do is trade one addiction for another—so I will be tapering off that now too!

Also—My old doctor retired and the one who took his place gave me 15 Tramadol, said to I needed to “taper off” (no instructions or advice on how to do that) and all but told me to go fuck myself. This doctor did not give a shit about me or my problems. So there’s no help in that corner. Like I said—I do still have access to four pills a day but I want to be done!!!!

I saw a website for Matt Finch—he sells a detox program and recommends all kinds of supplements like a product called Emiroll (I’m positive I misspelled that) Has anyone used his program? Do the supplements he’s touting actually work?

Also—I’ve been reading a lot about PAWS and that’s a big fear of mine. Would you guys recommend going back on anti-depressants? After 15 years of Tramadol I don’t know who I am without it—but I know my moods have been all over the place since dropping down. The fibromyalgia pain is bad enough—I really don’t want to feel depressed and apathetic all the time on top of being in pain. That’s worse than all the rest. Do any natural supplements work for depression?

Sorry for the crazy long post. Thanks to whoever reads all of this and I welcome any advice!!