Have been on around 25 mgs oxy daily for the last few months. Tapered down from 80 to 15 in a few months, relapsed to 25, 4 weeks ago. I tried tapering further, but every time i end up taking more during my taper.

I know i am weak. I did it before, 2 years ago but i was in a better place then. I tapered very slow and also used pregabalin, which i don't want again, because it was harder to quit the pregabalin and it gave me seizureing and suicidal. Now i have a stressful job who will allow me a week off, maybe 2. I really don't want to lose this job.

I have a good support system: friends and family are offering help. My boss lets me take a paid week of without wasting my vacation days. My friends can take care of me, force me to eat and make sure i won't suffer from dehydration. My partner will be home often, but has a lot of work.. and maybe he will need some time away from me, I'm a demon towards him when i don't take my meds on time. Like really, i'm awful and i say awful things.

My doctors are not very helpful: i know in the US they give suboxone or whatever to make the WD symptoms less bad. None of my doctors want to give me anything helpful. Not even some zolpidem. So i got some from my mom. My docs say 'just taper down and you will be ok' but they don't even know how bad it is. The 'opioid epidemic' is known to few doctors over here, they don't take it seriously.

I am preparing myself mentally, but so tired. I worry about everything. I will make my partner's life hell even though i love him so much. I want it to be over now. Time will go so slow. Maybe it will take me much longer to be myself again than i hope to.

Is the WD onset quick? Is it just 4-5 days and then I am normal again, or can the anxiety stay for much longer?

Edit: please don't send me messages trying to sell me opioids. Thats a real dick move