Today is day 22, it seems to be getting harder not easier. Mentally I’m fucked, all I think about is how I need an oxy and I would feel better and it would improve different areas of my life. Physically I feel better than I did it the early stages. When you get to the point you physically feel better, you start to forget about the pain you went through and think it wasn’t that bad and can do it again. This is the longest I’ve made it and I have to tell myself to keep going. I need to stop spending my time and money on this shit but now that I’ve dug myself out of some debt and have saved a bit, that little voice is telling me, we’ll just a few and you’ll be fine. I know that’s not what I should do though. I feel like I have no energy and no motivation. Work has been tough and thinking of using again would help me get through the work week. What is this pink cloud people think of? It was way easier for me in the beginning telling myself I never want to do this shit again, now it’s all I can think of. I’m bored and have nothing to look forward to. I’m not sure if I can stick with it.