I feel very nervous posting this but hi 20f here, i guess my story is kinda different from the rest, so here goes nothing.

I was diagnosed with depression in 6th grade of elementary school. My parents are extremely hardworking people that nad eit from the ground up and basically i live an upper middle class lifestyle, all my life in private schools, vacations every summer, expensive sports etc.

In 7th grade a friend from school introduced me to weed and from there on 8th grade i made the jump to H (when i was 14) i did it several times and remember what an escape it was, i eventually stopped doing it because that friend SA me while i was high, in a way im gratefuk for that because i woukdnt have stopped otherwise amd i wouldnt be here right now.

Im now 20 and in med school, to everyone who knows me im this smart pretty girl with the oerfect life and that has everything together, and honestly thats not true at all, ive been suicidal since 6th grade, tried antidepressants and dont work, honestly im so tempted to just get that warm and relaxing feeling again and just eventually that it all comes to an end.