Hi All-

My wife and I have been open for about 7 years. We are completely open (no rules) and it has been working well. I just want to explain part of our dynamic as an example of a 'success story' that others might be interested in.

When we first opened up, we did it because we had a fantastic sex life, but we wanted more. We met a couple- had a good time- but for them it was more of a solo adventure. That took us from swinging, to being open because we each saw half of the couple on our own after the first meetup.

After that, I (M55 now) went on a dating spree, and so did my wife. I saw 30 different people in a span of two years. Anything from a one-night stand to dating for a few months. My wife is a stay at home mom, so she had the house during the day, and things were very easy for her. I had a great time, but man, it was stressful and took a ton of effort for me. On top of that, it took 3 or 4 times with one person before I would feel comfortable and the sex would actually be enjoyable.

After a while I realized that I had gone through all the fun I needed and meeting up for another simple hookup just wasn't what I was looking for. So I quit meeting people. My wife was still doing her thing, and after a while it really bothered me. Not that she was doing anything wrong, but that it was easy for her, and difficult for me.

So I went back out again- this time I was looking for a girlfriend.

I ended up meeting someone who was FANTASTIC. But...she didn't know I was married. She told me many times that if she knew I was married, she never would have talked to me at all- but luckily, she missed it the first few times she viewed my profile...and once we started seeing each other, she decided that it would be okay. She is the same age as my wife (5 years younger than me) and she and I match up pretty well. For me, I knew that this was the person I wanted to have a relationship with- not just empty sex.

We met 4 years ago (we just celebrated our anniversary a week ago) and we are still going strong. For me, she is a wonderful girlfriend, great friend, and just a very important person in my life. We see each other at least 4 days per week- sometimes 7. We live about 12 minutes from each other- and I greatly appreciate that we can see each other easily! We do pretty much anything you would imagine two people who have been dating for 4 years would do. We go on little trips, we go shopping together, we have lunch together about 4 days per week. We play lots and lots of games. We'll go to a bar and hang out and play Boggle for hours.

And the sex is...wonderful!

We have sex pretty frequently- I have lunch at her house a few times a week, we have dates, or sometimes on the weekend I will spend 8 or 10 hours at her place.

Which brings me to the Handyman Sex.

My girlfriend is great in bed, and she is also pretty 'demanding'. And by that I mean- she wants hers. I love to give it to her. Lots of oral, lots of attention...fingers, etc. She has a nice body, and I love to enjoy it. But, this is not lazy sex at all! Or even selfish- it is very much a partnership where we try to do the best we can.

Except for Handyman Sex. Handyman sex is what we do when I go to her house and work on something. Clean up her yard, paint a room, hang things on the wall. Just things that a handyman/husband/boyfriend would do. But I get paid...with handyman sex.

Handyman sex is when I get to do things exactly the way I want, when I want...etc. She is more than game...but I am in complete control. If I'm hanging a picture in the living room, there is good chance I will bend her over the couch in the middle of it, fuck her for a couple minutes, cum, zip up, and move on with my project. Or if I come in dirty from the backyard- well, she knows that I am going to grab her, throw her on the bed, and fuck exactly the way I want to and then go get a drink out of the fridge. It's not a matter of 'leaving her hanging', it's a matter of Handyman Sex...and if the handyman does his job installing a garbage disposer- well, he wants to get paid!

(And yes, of course we are mature adults, I am not taking advantage of her, it's just that the sexual dynamic changes during handyman sex, and I enjoy the hell out of it. She does too.)

The Handyman Sex also really led my girlfriend to see how much I enjoy that kind of sex. She has started to do something else that I really enjoy. She will tell me, "Okay, we have 5 minutes before we need to leave- you can do anything you want in that time."

Man- do I love that! Because she means it- I can just have a party with her nice body, then we'll pack up and go where we need to go. And as a bonus, this doesn't replace any of the sex we were having prior, this is just in addition. So now it's 'good sex', 'handyman sex' and 'I have my panties off, so you might as well fuck me for the next 2 minutes' sex.

My wife and I talk about my relationship with my girlfriend all the time. My wife says that I am a much better person this way. (It gives me a different perspective on life) and she supports it. My girlfriend and I have lives that are like 90% interwoven, and we enjoy that. Today we had lunch, and then went shopping for cat food. We play tennis together. We go for walks, and eat lots and lots of meals together. I love to do that kind of thing with someone who appreciates me.

I know this is VERY long. I've been wanting to share this success story for a long time and I have so, so much more to say. As far as open marriage success stories, this one has worked out perfectly for me. I realized that one-night-stands just weren't working- but having a girlfriend, plus handyman sex is perfect.