Hey, I've posted on here before about a situation where I cheated in our open marriage (34M/32F). I don't know why I did it really, only maybe that I didn't want her to say no and it was kind of a spur of the moment thing and I thought since we were open it would be ok.

Boy was I wrong. Especially since I told her right after her first experience out of spite to be like "actually I was first". Toxic I know.

Besides me being really fkn stupid and not having the foresight on how this could break up my beautiful family, I am currently seeking counseling and trying to fix things though she keeps saying "things aren't great between us" this has been going on for a month and a half. We have yet to reconcile properly or have make up sex or anything. She acts really physically cold to me which she's never done before. Anytime I hint at something sexual between us she's like "gross" or acknowledges that "yeah I've got a great booty, I know".

But as someone who was used to frequent sex this is becoming difficult for me. I am also mourning the loss of our closeness/love/cuddling/etc. We sleep in different beds for the past month and a half but still act normal around our 2 young kids and say "I love yous" and all that.

So I spoke with her, she likes the open dynamic, I said maybe we can do something there she sees her fwb once or twice a month and then I get to do the same, providing I find a new one. But I'm having problems with that...

So after I admitted my cheating, I went scorched earth on my contacts. Anyone I've ever been sexual with or even sexting or whatever I blocked and deleted from my phone. I have no way of recovering those contacts. In my mind this was some kind of grand gesture. She didn't seem to care though that was like 1 day after I admitted it.

So she has tinder and theres 90% more guys in our area than girls. We are in a remote part of Canada, far from cities. The biggest population center for many hours is 20 thousand people and it's 1 hour drive from us. Otherwise it's settlements of a few hundred people 10 to 20 mins drive or more from each other. We live in a more remote part of our region where it's mostly retirees and seasonal summer residents/campgrounds. I'm trying to illustrate that there just aren't many people our ages and there isn't any special interest groups that cater to under 65 .

There's some new industry growth past few years in the bigger town 1 hour away that's brought a largely new male population there which is a lot of the ppl on her tinder.

For me I start a search radius of 30km (either zero or 1 girl appears, swipe then asked to increase radius) i keep increasing then there's more when I get to an hour or more away. Then I get some matches. 99% of the time, it will get to "wait, where are you?" Then I will tell them and they always reply with a variant of "sorry, too far".

I know I'm fairly attractive and when I was in college and university in the cities I went to those institutions in, I had no problem getting matches or meeting up.

What I really am looking for is a married couple (25-45 range) where I can just be used by them as their object of desire once or twice a month. I've done that before in the city and it was some of the most amazing sex I've ever had. I tried fet life and all those other specialty apps and they just simply do not have a user base here, 3 hours from here ya, but no one is going to match and meet with someone thats a 6 hour round trip. It's basically just tinder and bumble and here I run out of ppl to swipe on on those in under 30 seconds.

How do I meet a naughty kinky, attractive and sexually aggressive couple with a bi male when I live where I do where trees outnumber humans a quadrillion to 1? I looked up put population density here before and it's 0.5 people per sqkm. The bars (theres like 2) in the "big town" an hour away are pretty hurting most of the time and are full of young dudes full of aggression binge drinking and sometimes getting into fights outside.