Wife and I have been together 11 years married almost 10. About a year and a half into our rerelationship she got sick. Her body rejected her liver. With being sick her sex drive has went way down About 2 years in. At About the 3 year mark we started talking about an open marriage as she says she knows I have needs. We talked about it here and there over a few years and decided to officially open our marriage around the 7 years mark. We didn't communicate rules and boundaries very well to start. It almost ended it all. We "closed" our marriage and worked on us and it made us stronger. Then a year ago we decided to try swinging. We went to a club with a couple (friends) nothing happened. Went again and wife and I had sex in a open room. Went a 3rd time and ended up in a orgy lol. A few months later we met with one of the couples for the orgy and hooked up with them. Ever since all that happen, about a year ago, she really has no sex drive. She says I can find sex elsewhere but I feel guilty. Like if I'm out with someone else I'm losing time with her. Not sure what I should do. Is it wrong, am I a shitty person for wanting to look for a Friend's with Benefits and taking time away from my wife while she is sick?