Hello guys,

Please bear with me for a long post.

So I [28M] married my college-time girlfriend [27F] 2 years back after 3 years of relationship. It was my fault that I didn't tell her that I am always attracted (just sexually) towards other women and want to explore. Well, it's not that just I want to explore, I am pretty much down to try everything with other couples too and I don't mind if my wife wants to explore.

I thought she would never agree to what my kinks are. So I made another mistake and cheated she found out some time back. I told her that I was not gonna cheat again but I wanted both of us to explore with other people as a couple but she was not convinced at all and said it was her choice not to become open to exploring. I have a high libido. My wife also had a high libido in the early days which is low now. She blames me for it that I cheated and my previous cheating and current talks about opening up a marriage led to her lower libido which I completely agree with and want to fix.

After fighting for multiple months, I FINALLY to decided to divorce but she didn't want it and gave me threats that she would commit suicide which is literally a blackmail and not considerable at all.

I tried to convince her one side to open marriage too. Like if she is okay if I alone explore outside (which I believe is literally impossible in this world where women agree to have fun with me while my wife is not happy about it). I said I respect her choice but she also needs to respect mine! But she does not agree with that arrangement too.

I don't know what to do. Sometimes back she agreed to try the SRSP but again after 2 days, she denied it while I actually started finding people on dating apps.

I am just fucked up. She is beautiful and I love her. But on the other hand, I also don't wanna restrain myself.

Any advice would be highly appreciated, fellas.

Thanks.