Boundaries are tricky because you are opening up to a lifestyle neither of you have experienced and as you evolve, become more at ease, and engage in a more comfortable space, a limiting boundary may feel inappropriate, constricting, or unfair.

There should be some rules to guide your behavior, but you should have check in points- do they still apply, does something still make sense, or is it legitimate. You can’t think of every scenario and setting boundaries may give you a false sense of security. For example, you may have 5 rules and think you are covered and safe. The person may follow them and then engages in something you didn’t realize you needed to discuss and you may feel slighted. You need communication and grace. Realize everyone, in any kind of relationship will make take a misstep. Boundaries are a good way to make yourselves falsely secure if you are not careful.

Moreover, while some “boundaries” may make sense for issues of safety such as no over night dates with someone you are meeting for the first time and without having any check in, others may take the fun out of the process such as no kissing.

Exercise reason when you set out and do so with the spirit of flexibility.

Wishing you all the best!