So we been married for 17 years now and last 5 open , I want her to have fun and she says same to me . We are committed to staying married and don't want to divorce or even bring up the word , so that bring said n understood. She has a boyfriend and he treats her good .

My issue is she will sometimes tell me what they did to try n spice up ours , and I find that ok yes I like this or that , now I want to include it in ours , but sometime she stops or wants to put it away , whatever it is, Like one thing was a strip tease she did for him , Now I asked her to show me what she did , she showed me that time but has not done it again .

I told her I enjoyed it and would like it again but she says no , that she doesn't want to do that for me that it's not ours to do and I shouldn't want something she's doing for someone else.

So now all I get is that she told me what she did , I asked to show me , she did it that time, and I enjoyed it and want the same thing, but she says it's not for us .

I'm feeling less , like I'm not worthy enough for her. Like I'm good enough for her as being married to but just less than. Not less than another man , just less than . Period.

She says don't think about it that way , I'm still her rock , still on a pedestal, just something that's not mine .

Told her statement makes me feel " less-than " 200 thousand percent more of " less-than " .

She wants me to appreciate that we have things for us and she can have things NOT for us .

Like something " NOT " for us is somehow a good quality to strive for . Says me wanting it now when we didn't do B4 is profe that I didn't want it b4