I (26F) married my high school sweetheart (28M). We’ve been together a total of 10 year and married for almost 4 years. I had lots of sexual trauma from before our relationship that then created a very stunted sex life for 9 years. We did MDMA for the first time last year and it opened up a whole new world for me and combined with therapy, I realize that my sexual trauma is no longer an issue whatsoever. Almost to the point of feeling like a teenager again. My husband is obviously happy about this because he’s always had a high sex drive but because of me, he wasn’t able to be fulfilled for so long.

I have always been open about my bisexuality and it has always been in the cards for us to eventually have a threesome. What we both realize in the past year is that we both only ever thought it would happen with another women. Now that I feel like i’ve had a sexual awakening, i’m starting to freak out a bit. Realizing that I have had only one penis ever (I lost my virginity to him but he did not lose his to me), it is starting to get to me that I want to experience more before having a child.

We agree that a threesome with a woman is totally in the cards still but he is very hesitant on sharing me with another man. I understand this to be just a guy thing maybe? I’m hopeful that having sex with another woman with or without me (i’ve proposed this as an option for years) will open him up sexually to maybe understand why i’m feeling the way i’m feeling. I’m not posting here to ask how to change his mind or manipulate him but more so asking for advice of what the hell do i do? I want to experience more because i know in 20 years i’ll be wishing i did, especially if that’s how i already feel. But more than anything, I want to have his babies and live a long and happy life with him and only him.

Has anyone else dealt with these feelings before and how do i properly navigate them while both getting what we want? I also want to make it clear that i do not want an open marriage per-say but maybe temporary freedom for the both of us.