Here's the story, the feedback questions are at the end. We're in our late 50's, been married over 20 years to each other and haven't strayed from our marriage. We've grown apart at times, dead bedroom happened over the years at times, but we've pulled it back together to continue on our daily lives, but never to the extent of what we have had in the past, and always a little less of what we had. We travel and vacation great together and often. She says she was ready to divorce me, but having bought a new house recently is 1 of her main reasons to stay together. It's been a marriage of convenience for a long time.

She suggested open marriage out of the blue a couple of weeks ago citing her dissatisfaction with our marriage. She wants me to find a FWB and she said she might have someone in mind for herself. We quickly set up some boundaries, but didn't agree on everything.

She has a job that allows her to work from home and she interacts with a variety of clients, contractors and coworkers over the phone, zoom and teams. I head off to the office every morning. She told me she has been chatting with someone for over a year and in the last month or two it has progressed to where they wanted to hook up and spend some time in bed together. Just sex. She wanted to keep him anonymous, but I discovered who he is, just by reading her body language and voice intonation while being home this past week overhearing their (hers, she wears headphones) conversation. He's married with kids, a subcontractor coworker, probably a little younger than her, and as she put it "total opposite of me". They've been on 3 dates so far. The first 2 they screwed in his pickup truck in parking lots behind stores and the last time they went to a day hotel for a couple of hours, the travel time taking up a lot of their together time.

She's been very transparent as to telling me when she's going to meet him and when she gets back home, and if everything went OK. She told me on the first date they didn't have a condom. We went out the next day and bought condoms together. She hasn't had an orgasm with him. She gets physically sick with diarrhea the mornings of her dates, nerves she says. She has come home frustrated every time. They have told each other that spouses can't find out about their affair. She says she is content with just him and not looking farther. They have the opportunity to chat and talk every day because of the nature of their work. I've been completely supportive of their affair, although a bit jealous since I haven't found a "date" yet, and she tends to blow me off when I suggest that she read something I've found online, but I think I'm keeping it under control.

Here is where we get to the questions and feedback...

Our boundaries are evolving; Home is off limits, that's agreed upon.

Weekends are our time.

She's limited to weekday daytime trysts because of the type of job she has, but I can have after work get togethers because of the type of job I have.

She doesn't want to know anything about who, what, or where, DADT in my regards, and she doesn't want me to ask about their situation, but she will reluctantly tell me if I ask, and she's quite talkative when she's frustrated. Like: he's uncut, I'm bigger than him, and he cums pretty fast.

She doesn't want to have sex with me the day before and the day of their get togethers; That was new for the hotel meetup, but we had a lot of sex after the first 2 meetups, and I make her cum. I wasn't too thrilled with sloppy seconds after she told me a few details about their first truck fuck. I felt kind of cucked.

So now she wants to go completely DADT, not even when she's going out. She knows I'll know anyway when the garage door opens. She says, by me knowing as much as she's told me I'm controlling her... She's not adverse to lying, but I usually catch her at it, and she says she will always tell the truth. And she's pretty selfish.

She says she loves me and I reciprocate the same, but it's waning. She thinks we as a couple are moving too fast (me) to bring our marriage back to life and she wants it to build back up slowly.

the BIG QUESTION: Do you think we have a chance of making this work? Do you wise redditers have some insight for us? What are we missing? I'm going to share this post with her and maybe she'll read it...