My father suffered Cardiac Arrest in late January and was taken off life support yesterday as it was determined the doctors couldn’t help him anymore, as his condition was very deteriorated. He had just turned 59 years old.

My father was a Catholic convert in the 1970’s as a High School student when he had the opportunity to attend a forward thinking Catholic high school in Cleveland, Ohio where he grew up. He took teachings he learned there and from the world around him to heart and was a supporter of LGBTQ rights, Women’s rights, and was learning more about disability advocacy with me prior to his death ( I was diagnosed as Autistic in 2018 as a sophomore in college.)

He also loved animals and considered our three dogs to be blessings of the lord, and he and I would give our time not only taking care of our animals but going to the local SPCA and donating items and time to helping the animals there.

He taught 6th and 8th grade US History for 26 years at a public middle school.

He was also active from the 1970’s to 2014 as an all natural bodybuilder ( meaning he didn’t use performance enhancing drugs.) and was an avid fisherman for many years. He also struggled with diabetes and heart disease as a result of genetic reasons and lifestyle changes in the 1990’s near my birth.

My father also served in different roles in our church, most often presenting the gifts at communion, and had a great love of God even when some of the churches we attended shunned my family for wanting everyone to be able to be active in the church and for our support of being pro choice and LGBTQ rights.

Now my father is gone. And though we go to a very affirming and accepting Catholic Church, who has been fantastic about honoring my father’s wishes to be cremated and to have only a small mass in his honor, I worry that his parents who are more traditional will be very rude to us for not having a traditional funeral for my father even though a funeral was against his wishes in my parent’s will.

I also am just not sure how to truly honor my father because I loved him very much and miss him. I don’t know what to do. I’m only 22 years old, and it’s very hard.