I see many guys venting about OLD here, and I keep reading about how women have it easier, so let me show you what I go through as a "woman" (I put it in quotes because I pass as female but identify as Nonbinary) on OLD apps. For a bit of context, I'm 29, and this would be the first time I give dating a real try. I haven't had any relationships previously due to being career and travel focused, so maybe this newness contributes to my frustration? But with the way things are going, I don't know how people do get into relationships anymore. :/

On dating apps, I get matched with a lot of guys that don't message me, which makes me wonder why they even swiped right if they don't intend to do anything with that? When I reach out to them, most don't message back, and when/or they decide to, it's just one-word answers to my questions, or they answer it and don't keep the conversation going. Passivity and low effort is a huge turn off and makes me step back, big time. We just started talking and already I feel like I'm needing to chase and I'm not valued. Whatever happened to the law of equivalent exhcnange?

Eventually, it gets exhausting because I'm getting messages from guys who are...

1 not my type (this includes having an empty profile or those that have "looking for friends" on their profile).

2 sending texts with suffocating pickup lines (I.e "hey I thought we might have at least one conversation before we get married!") 😬

3 ...types to keep sending "Hey" and nothing but, or after I step away for a bit, they keep asking if I'm there, followed by another hey as if it was the next day but only an hour went by.

4 they ghost as soon as I refuse to add their insta or text them via phone after a few messages (safety issue. )

5 strictly sex zoning; they ask me to be their FWB and "we'll see how it goes." See how WHAT goes?! I'm not giving any benefits unless they're earned, bud. FFS.

6 they want a "cuddle buddy" or can't wait to have me in their bed...the same day we matched. Dude you don't know me. Do most men think that women exist to meet their needs and their needs alone?

I've only been at this for 3 months, and I honestly can't stand online dating and I'm finding myself bitter about men since I started it. This process is tainting my perspective about people as a whole tbh. I even wonder if my male friends treat women like this :(

Some of my friends say it is a game and it should be fun, but how can I see this as a game/fun when other humans are the players? Do people play with each other's emotions like this? Is all this normal?!

I think my self-esteem is taking a hit, too, and now I'm worried about finding someone and my own emotional health. I am shocked that this is how the majority of people treat each other.

With so many people gathered in a single place to find companions of a sort you would think that this would be a gentle process. Ohhh no. :( I do not understand this "game." Nor do I agree about how "it goes."

Where else do you go to find someone if not those apps?