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Unmatching people feels like shit 27F
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I recently joined hinge and tinder just to see what’s out there. I started swiping and things can get mindless FAST especially on tinder. I ended up matched some people who seem like great people but the sheer number of matches makes decision making difficult. So I made the cruel, but humane decision to comb through and select the ones I truly saw myself connecting with. Which doesn’t feel great. I fully acknowledge that there’s no way to truly judge this person from a few photos and prompts.

So I proceeded to be communicative to those who I matched/chatted with and let them know it wasn’t going to work. Well it backfired, I sent out a total of two of my well-thought out rejection messages and one guy did not respond well at all. I immediately unmatched before things got ugly. From that point on, I’ve just unmatched, with no explanation. Which I’ve also seen people hurt by. What is the etiquette if any for unmatching? Does it make sense to send a courtesy message? Or is that more humiliating than just disappearing?

Comments

Silently unmatching or not responding is very passive.  Actively rejecting them, no matter how nicely, is putting it in their face.  Some people just don't handle rejection well.

Unless you've already been on a date, I would stick to the passive rejections.

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Posted
8 months ago