This post has been de-listed
It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.
Started talking to a girl off tinder last week. Small talk, keeping it clean and PG. Moved off tinder and a female friend messaged me the next day and asked if I'd heard of these "do not date him" or "are we dating the same guy" Facebook groups. I said yes, and she told me I'd been posted by an anonymous member. I told her I appreciated her letting me know and asked her to keep an eye on the comments.
Well a day later, 5 women have commented. All positive things 😮🙂 a couple women I'm friends with, a couple past flings, and one I went to school with. I guess it does pay to be a nice guy once in a while. Even tho women seem to like jerks 😂
I know women aren't supposed to share what happens in those groups. But regardless I feel a little violated. I haven't told the girl from tinder that I know she posted me. Not sure if I will either. But she does want to hang out now lol.
It would be great if these groups stuck to their stated purpose of identifying cheaters. But they don't.
I showed up on one of these groups. First comment was "I think I recognize him..." And then they proceeded to tell a story that had zero resemblance to anything I've done in my life.
They said I did something terrible in Hawaii - I haven't been to Hawaii in 20 years.
They said I was mean to a dental assistant - I don't know any dental assistants.
They said I name-dropped that I'm friends with Elon musk??? Never met him, don't like him, wouldn't name drop him.
It was a completely made up story, or else a case of mistaken identity. Either way, I was straight up libeled, and I had zero recourse.
Pretty interesting. My guess is that her starting with the caveat "I think it's the same guy" rather than definitively IDing me probably gives her enough wiggle room, not that anyone read it that way.
This group listed a bunch of rules. Clearly they were trying to avoid getting banned by Facebook. None of these rules were being applied.
Except the "don't post the same guy twice" rule. That one got applied. There was a second post about me with positive comments. It got deleted.
He's lucky no one mistook him for some other, unrelated person who had done a bunch of terrible things.
I think you are in an exceptional version of these groups if there's any attention being paid to veracity. From the comments on the false story, no one was considering that it could be wrong.
How I found out involved some drama. One woman told me about it but wouldn't show me what was being said. A second woman joined just to show me. I told the first woman I saw the stories (first woman hadn't herself commented). First woman sussed out who the second woman was from the list of recent group joiners and got her banned. I reached out to a 3rd woman, one of the commenters on my profile who I did have a mostly good former relationship with and got the first woman banned. It was very silly. I asked them all to report it but I have no idea if this post stayed up.
I'm now engaged to the second woman, so it didn't actually end up hurting me.
Agreed! I'm doing fine now, no real long term effect. Just sharing my story so people know not to trust everything they read on these groups.
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 10 months ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/OnlineDatin...
Did not consult a lawyer. Zero realistic recourse.