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Hi!! I’ve spent basically all of my 20s with a man who’s in prison. I have at least 2 more years to go and I’m losing my mind. It feels like it anyway. The loneliness is painful. It's like it's all I can feel most of the time. Physically, emotionally, mentally. It hurts and it just keeps getting worse. I love him, or I wouldn’t have made it this far, waited this long, but I’m realizing that love alone isn’t always enough.
A 15-minute static-y phone call isn’t enough. Conversations that are recorded, monitored, and paid for aren’t enough. There's no connection anymore. It's just waiting and waiting and waiting. I want more. I need more so desperately. The zero physical affection and sex isn't even what bothers me the most. I want to feel wanted. I want a real and immediate connection, real conversations, real excitement. I want to laugh, flirt, and actually exist in someone’s daily life. I miss being clingy and affectionate. I miss the butterflies. I miss feeling like I’m someone’s girlfriend. I may be married, but I feel single and I have for a long, long time.
PS I’m plus-sized/fat/whatever you want to call it. I know that’s not everyone’s thing, but if it is yours, that would be great. I need someone who genuinely loves and is attracted to fat women and fat bodies. I’ve spent a loooooooooooooot of time alone and I want to be wanted fully, for all of me. And I hope I could do the same for you.
If any of this resonates with you, send me a message. Thanks for reading. xoxo
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