If you know that song, you’ll get the dreamy, cinematic vibe I’m going for. If you don’t, listen to it and report back. (Seriously.)

I want a relationship where we break free from the mundane without actually changing anything at home. We’ll be each other’s sounding board, the motivation to crush a workout or finally finish that daunting work project, someone to swap recipes with, read a book alongside, send our latest song hyperfixation to, and maybe even build an entire playlist together.

The kind of connection where three or four conversations are happening at once, and every answer sparks another question. I want to struggle to keep up with our messages without completely derailing my day.

I’m a catch and very confident in what I bring to the table. (Apparently, to a lot of men here, that means petite. I am muscular and have curves in all the right places.) If we get to the point of exchanging photos, please be willing to go first. I’m tired of being the one to say there isn’t a mutual attraction.

Non-negotiables: You’re 30ish-40ish, in the CST/EST USA only, and not in a marriage involving a pregnant, soon-to-be-pregnant, or postpartum wife. Kids make this a level playing field in terms of what we both have to lose. (I do not want to lose what I have in this current phase of life. You should understand what I mean.)

If I find what I’m yearning for, I’ll want to meet in real life someday. (Not tomorrow or next week, someday.) So please don’t reach out unless that’s something you already daydream about.

I know connections like this just happen, so I’ll be patient. But I can’t wait for it to pay off and finally meet you.

Don’t copy/paste a reply to me. Here’s a few topics for you to pick from: 1. The aforementioned song! 2. Your March Madness predictions. Let’s make some bets. 3. Send me some memes we can laugh about?

If this post is up, I’m still waiting for you. 🫶🏼

*It didn’t flow well while I was writing, so I am explicitly stating that I am married.