Forward: This post is tongue in cheek. Re: Shit Post. /just a fun loving man with a penchant for words being moderately obnoxious!

So! These questions! Are you as tired of them as me?! Here we are just trying to find the alternate loves of our lives and instead we’re stuck in the limbo of these interminable questions!!

1. Are you hot? Oh for gods sake! Yes. Obviously. I’m facelessly looking for the woman of my dreams! Obviously I’m sexy enough to demand such unattainable heights!

2. Can you read? Don’t make me laugh. Or prove it. Writing isn’t reading and we all know it!

3. On a scale of Taylor swift to Dave Chappell how happy are you? This one again. Ugh. I’m obviously dancing about right at a solid Florence Pugh.

4. Can you hold a conversation? I mean here I am holding one all by myself… what do you thing??

5. What are you looking for? 😑 feel the dull dying death of my enthusiasm. Obviously I’m looking for everything I haven’t got! Do you know what those things are? Maybe you can find out!

6. Do you just want to e-bang or what? First of all, take your Gen Z-isms and get outta here. Second of all. If I met someone astounding and one thing led to another you wouldn’t hear me complain. But have I been arrested for being a pervert? Check my record!

7. Are you funny? Oh dear holy god. Please take questions 1-6 as evidence. On second thought, yes. Just ignore the rest… 👀

8. Are you shallow? Absolutley.

9. Are you kind? Probably the kindest. I mean really. Real talk. If we can’t at least treat one another with kindness here please take it from me… I was going to cuss out the unkind people but then realize that’s a bit hypocritical… damn.

10. Are you intelligent? Smart enough to realize 10 questions is a good number to quit on!

Lastly, a quick physical description because I’ve been around long enough to know no one is for everyone. Me? I’m a general 8. A 10 to some. And a 5 to none! (Excuse me while I feel good about that little description!) I’m your discount Henry Cavill and your non super Chris Pratt. I’ve got chest hair, nice eyes, and broad shoulders. Ill don’t expect magic, but I’m in the market for laughter, witty conversation, and anything that can be even loosely labeled as Fun!