I spent my twenties obsessed with the pipe dream of finding the one true soulmate, but a few reality checks and the mad rollercoaster that is the 2020s have reduced that romantic notion to a shrivelled molecule of irrelevance. What remains is the enduring fascination with brainy, introspective, well-read, effortlessly witty women, and the more cobwebs appear in my dead bedroom nowadays, the less ethically conflicted I feel about seeking one elsewhere, for genuine friendship and kinky flirtationship in equal measure. Since the planet at large is determined to tear itself apart, why shouldn't I toss a metaphorical coin into the great randomizer of Reddit and hope to score a jackpot? If gambling didn't pay off, people wouldn't enjoy it this much, right? My double-zero bet is that special someone whose words, thoughts, and personality would burrow into my cranium with surgical precision and stimulate the dusty parts of my brain like a ghastly modification of a scalp massager (you're welcome).

I'm a 30-something (four, the something is four) disenchanted daydreamer who works in the highly lucrative and not at all endangered trade that is languages, fancies himself a writer but struggles to get things done lately because see above, finds solace in good books of many genres and thoughtful video games, and enjoys listening to miserable men and women despondently strum their guitars. A staunch leftie with occasional enlightened centrist takes. No kids and no intention of ever having any. Alas, I cannot offer you the whole "tall dark mysterious stranger" package: best I can do is dark blonde, quirky, and emotionally intelligent. I am freakishly tall, though; thanks, Mother Nature, the airplane seat manufacturers salute you. And speaking of freaky, I'm full of dominant, feral, moderately sadistic, and very pent-up urges behind the harmless nerdy façade, should you desire to explore them.

I absolutely have a specific type in mind, and that type's key feature is a weird beautiful brain: someone clever, strange, bookish, articulate (it is impossible to overstate how much I enjoy seeing your wit and intellect through a well-written text and how quickly I lose interest when that quality is absent), funny, sassy but kind-hearted and empathetic, kinky and sex-positive, and who doesn't take herself too seriously because I'm hopelessly allergic to pretentiousness. I hope this nonsensical word salad tickles your fancy if you exist and stumble upon it, o fellow lonesome smartass with a penchant for writerly dorks.

CET timezone if that's important. Come break the ice via chat or DMs if any/all of this happened to strike a chord.