I hate writing these because I know some men are just going to read the F4M and send a message but I don't want to half-ass this process. I will also try and talk you out of why you should reply to me instead trying to sell myself. Weird way to go about things but I am in fact weird.

About me: I am hot enough to be on OF but too stupid to charge for my nudes. I just end up getting a boyfriend and giving them to him for free (that is an insight to my humor). I am in shape but I will always be a work in progress. In shape can mean anything so full transparency 6 ft-180 with stretch/surgery marks on my stomach. I HATE taking pics/video but I will happily do it for you just don't expect 20 selfies a day. Life has been rough so I am not a happy/cheerful/positive person but I am not Eeyore by any means. I will keep you guessing on what random shit will come out of my mouth. Fun part is I am typically shocked too. I will offend you far before you offend me, can turn just about anything into a joke, and don't like to be serious unless needed. I am alt leaning with tattoos, usually have hair in a messy bun, don't like makeup (will wear it), and prefer comfy to dressed up.

About you: physically- in the same league as me. Tall, attractive, and fit, but enjoys food and being a couch potato from time to time. A great sense of humor is a must along with being fairly intelligent. No need to be a scholar but if it takes you 20 min to text back because you are trying to figure out how to spell gorgeous this won't work. Finally you need to have the time AND money to be able to put into this. This is online but I like to send/receive gifts and I like attention. Also this is where I will lose most of you, not happy in your marriage. Cake eaters and I will not get along nor will "I am happy in my marriage but..." because I won't be able to connect well with you.

As the title says I am looking for a boyfriend, not a fwb. I want everything that comes with the title within the constraints of APs. Not just keeping this in our own little bubble but I want to spill into life as well. Meaning, we get to know the real person behind the screen. I want to know about your day, your life, kids, job... everything. Yes, this includes if you are having problems with your spouse. I want to be each others best friend. Spouses are typically taboo but becoming part of each others lives they are a major part. Attraction is key so pic exchange earlyish is crucial. Doesn't have to be right away but within a couple of days as I don't want to waste time. If I haven't talked you out of replying yet, one more thing: I am in PST but my sleep schedule is all over the place so one day I'll stay awake until 3 am and others I am waking up for the day at 3am.