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Trigger Warning: Iām Married
I hope that made you laugh. I love to kick things off with a genuine chuckle! Thank you for stopping by to read my wishful diatribe, buckle in - Itās gonna get fuckin weird.
UP FRONT.
Politics - I donāt believe in tricking people, so I want to be up front since ideological alignment is so trendy these days.
Fiscally Conservative, Socially moderate.
Iād describe myself as more Libertarian than anything.
And the unambiguous translation of this is that I treat everyone with respect without consideration of any external factors, I believe in limited government (Which means if the government doesnāt have the right to control your access to guns you donāt get to control a womanās access to healthcare.)
Marry who you want.
I donāt care about your skin color or your creed, if you need a glass of water Iāve got one for you.
Be who you are.
Women should have the right to choose.
Men should have easier access to mental health resources.
Easy right?
Moving on!
About me:
Iām very much in love with my wife, she is my literal best friend. I am consumed with guilt as I type this, but the reality is I must accept my own selfishness and say outloud that our roommate/ dead bedroom situation leaves me wanting. I feel invalid as a man, I have nowhere to express my carnal affections or most vivid emotions. I feel loved but I donāt feel desired. Iām a tall, handsome, successful, physically strong and dominant man - yet I donāt feel powerful at all.
Where am I to put all this affection? Where am I to store this curiosity? All this filthy perversion and ambition, stirring inside me - a relentless and unceasing companion.
Iām a dishonest husband, but a decent man. I wonāt lie to you, Iāll give you more affection than you can handle, and since Iām so profoundly broken Iāll even share feelings with you sometimes. The inverse of that broken coin is a sweet, affectionate, jovial, and loving man. I have so much to give, I just need somebody special to give it to. And I wonāt be all stoicism and flirting, Iām fun too! I tell lots of lame jokes and corny puns, youāll hate me so much, itās gonna be great.
But im more than just the strong silent type, Iām more than just a pair of shoulders for you to rest your head and ankles on. Iām also a petty/nosy fucker too, tell me all the tea! Letās have a virtual date night with wine & bourbon and you can tell me about that bitch at work you hate. I bet her name is Susanā¦or Eye roll Miriamā¦I bet sheās just the worst I fucking hate her already!
Physically:
Tall (Hella)
Bearded (Itās glorious)
White (Boring, I know)
Genetically Male (Hey boy, what that PP do??)
Hands, legs, arms, & stuff
A butt
Eyes (Emeralds)
Chunky but Funky (Think āAndre The Giantā without the leotard)
Knee caps (So you know Iām a grown up)
Emotionally:
Available
Searching for LTR
Wants to find one full-time partner
About You:
Biologically female
Married Engaged/LTR Doesnāt Count towards M.A.D.
Wants a boyfriend
Can hold a conversation
Attracted to men
24-55 (I donāt think Iād have much in common outside that age range)
Doesnāt mind Iām not a dad
Enjoy pet names
Letās find that cliche Hallmark Movie spark together. Letās talk about our day, our families, our dreams, desires, insecurities, fantasies, how handsome Ryan Reynolds is, etc.
If youāve made it this far - Good Girl
Thank you for taking the time, if you think youād like to waste some time with a guy like me, send me a CHAT and include your favorite Green Day song. If you donāt like Green Day, just send me your favorite song and why itās your favorite song.
āAs time ticks by/Still I Try/No rest for Crosstops in my mindā
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